Can anyone here tell me what is lacking in this world more right now more than ever? Oh you're all so eager to answer this question! Alright alright now, settle down kids. Hmm let me seeee...eeny meenie miny.... Michael! Michael is the underdeveloped brown-nosing nerdy kid always sitting in the first row. He tries too… Continue reading Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology
When you're hovering 30 something thousand feet in the air inside of a synthetically engineered metal bird, all you can honestly think about, is death. Let's face it. No one wants to admit the morbid fuckeries that are lingering around our brains while we are unnaturally up in the sky because that's just too real… Continue reading Mid-Flight Rants
For the past week I've been digging for some light-hearted rantspiration because I feel as if I'm constantly like damn girl, why you gotta be so dark all the time though? Lighten up yo. Except I haven't used the word "yo" since I was 12 when I also used to force my handwriting to resemble… Continue reading Confessions of a Broken Bride
I made it. I made it to day 3! Look at me! I'm a friggin' PRO at this challenge stuff, eh? Thanks for challenging me Paul, I wasn't really sure I'd get through this one but I needed another reason to sit in my new office and get in my zone so here I am! I'd… Continue reading Favorite Quotes, Day 3!
It's past midnight here in Miami, which officially makes it Wednesday. So may I be the first to wish ya'll a happy Hump Day!? Do kids still say that? Meh. I'm a leader and a trend-re-setter anyways so fuck it. It stays. For the first time practically ever, I'm actually at a desk. In front… Continue reading Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!
If you follow my Instagram account then you would already know that my son is back at the fighting gym and is now on the "blue team". No later than 2 days after having sent that email, (if you are completely lost that's cool you can read it here) I received this response: Hi Ely,… Continue reading UPDATE!!!! re: “An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say”
"Hi! I'm Ely... the stepmom!" [insert fake smile] "Welcome! Oh this must be... [insert pause while I fake-patiently await oversized raging hormonal pre-teen number 37's name. Also- what the hell are these kids eating? Are they all on steroids?! They're giants! 6 foot tall little boys and 12 year old girls on their periods everywhere… Continue reading The Coolest Flocking Flamingle Like EVER.
Word for word. That's how I graced the subject line of the e-rant that I just electronically shipped to the manager of the gym where my son has been receiving mixed martial arts training for the past 3 months.You already know that this title was well fucking calculated. I'm sure this guy gets TONS of… Continue reading An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say
I am a lot of things. I won't list said "things" because I could be here all damn day hitting you with an epic "about me" essay, but obviously one of the main things I am is a shameless over-sharer. Let's face it, I'm a fan of talking about myself and of my life- the… Continue reading To be.
I consider myself to be a bit of an oddity. I am super fucking weird. Seriously, there are some quirks and things about me that make zero sense, whatsofuckenever. Take this ridiculous and wasteful habit of mines for instance: What the hell is that you say? Oh you know. A photo. That would be my… Continue reading Confessions of a Paper Clip Slayer