Witty Rants

Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

You know what irritates me? An extensive list of unnecessary fuckeries, to be frank. But let's get down to the business of raunchy, raging, ranting shall we? You see as of late, my greatest pet peeve has slowly become humanity; specifically the female portion of it. Yes. People are my pet peeves; especially the ones… Continue reading Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

Money Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

In Which I Rant SO Incessantly That I’m Not EVEN SURE How to Title, Categorize, or Tag The Rant.

You know that one time when I was all like  "Fuck you Universe and your lemons because I'm a boss and if I want apples then you best buh-lieve I'm getting some juicy apples bitch"? Who even ARE you Elizabeth?!  Well let me tell you what's been happening. You see, I've been desperately trying to… Continue reading In Which I Rant SO Incessantly That I’m Not EVEN SURE How to Title, Categorize, or Tag The Rant.

Work Rants

HR UNCUT: The Harsh Truths About Your Resumes That You NEED TO KNOW

Let me begin this shenanigan post off by justifying my credibility in this category. You see, when it comes to my priorities: my kids, my levels of caffeine toxicity, and my career are all sitting on a pedestal so high up there, not even Jesus can fuck with it. And just don't. Let me stop… Continue reading HR UNCUT: The Harsh Truths About Your Resumes That You NEED TO KNOW

Letters, Witty Rants

In Response To ‘Merica, The Cunt

Disclaimer: When it comes to politics I rely on tabloids, whatever google says, and whatever everyone on Facebook says. Did you think that would stop me inserting my 2 cents plus an extra cent just for the sake of living up to my "extra-ness"?  Come on! we all know opinions are like assholes. Everybody has… Continue reading In Response To ‘Merica, The Cunt

Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Weekend Forecast: 98% Chance of Mental Shit-Storms

Well happy weekend humans! It's been a fairly decent, rollercoaster-of-moodswings (as usual) kind of day. And while the incessant shit-show that construes my mind was not meant to be the focal point of this post, I thought you know what? Let's do something different. So in lieu of a 2,500 word post- whose purpose may… Continue reading Weekend Forecast: 98% Chance of Mental Shit-Storms

Money Rants, Witty Rants

Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…

..."Cell phone disconnected as fuckkkk but I'm goin' to Mexico on a cruise bitchhhhh!!" (True story). So you're already questioning the validity of my opinion on what defines a "broke bitch"- I get it. It's more like irresponsible-as-fuck-bitch-who-will-never-have-her-priorities-in-life-straight-bitch. But in my defense, for all you know I am guilty of religiousless  (I'm pretty sure that's… Continue reading Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…

Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

My Disappearances Make Me Rant about My Disappearances. 

My most sincerest of apologies to my phenomenally courageous like 13 followers who are clearly as mentally unclear as I. I fell of the map. Speaking of maps (and please excuse the all-over-the-placeness) can you BELIEVE that retarded ass rapper who keeps arguing that the Earth is ACTUALLY FLAT because no matter how high up… Continue reading My Disappearances Make Me Rant about My Disappearances.