Humor, Witty Rants

She Gives No Pox

Emergency room "nurse": Hmm. When did this start?  My actual arm the night I went to emergency room....there was more to it, but who wants pictures of this stuff? Sick fucks. 3-4 days ago, while I was out of the country in the Dominican Republic... they suggested I go to a hospital over there but...… Continue reading She Gives No Pox

Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

Favorite Quotes, Day 3!

I made it. I made it to day 3! Look at me! I'm a friggin' PRO at this challenge stuff, eh? Thanks for challenging me Paul, I wasn't really sure I'd get through this one but I needed another reason to sit in my new office and get in my zone so here I am! I'd… Continue reading Favorite Quotes, Day 3!

Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)

Heyyyy party over herrreeee! So. It's  (my version of) day 2 for this Favorite Quotes 3 day challenge which my genius, phenomenal friend Paul -aka- The Captain's Speech asked me to participate in and now I feel like I've totally let him down because I suck at writing or doing anything with a deadline! Sorry Paul!… Continue reading Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)

Deep Into The Foxhole, Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!

It's past midnight here in Miami, which officially makes it Wednesday. So may I be the first to wish ya'll a happy Hump Day!? Do kids still say that?  Meh. I'm a leader and a trend-re-setter anyways so fuck it. It stays. For the first time practically ever, I'm actually at a desk. In front… Continue reading Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!

Witty Rants

Fox-News-Fridays

Dwayne Wade is back in Dade with the Heat. Well ain't that neat? Not really, I don't honestly give a sheet shit. There goes my poet-ry. I was going for a slam dunk but I landed on the toilet seat and my rhyming took a dump. What a load of crap, I'm just saying- how… Continue reading Fox-News-Fridays

Witty Rants

The Book Of Ely

I'm a stubborn bitch person woman bitch- always go with your first instincts, boys and girls and never delete your first multiple choice answers on exams and when in doubt always choose "C"- ok. Let's try this again. ...With the delusional exception of winning a multi-million dollar lottery that I've never even purchased a ticket… Continue reading The Book Of Ely

Deep Rants, In Which I List The Things, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

TBH?

To be honest? If you can't be an adult and handle a list of brutally honest opinions or "truths", then don't even bother reading. And if you're going to find the instant need to defend your own perception of each of MY honest opinions... well don't. Write your own blog post and speak your own… Continue reading TBH?

Humor, In Which I List The Things, Witty Rants

Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

.....What are you even talking abo- oh just shut your fucking trap Susan seriously just shut it! NOT EVERYONE loves Christmas! Sure no one wants to be the dick who hates Shitmas I mean Christmas... like who WANTS people to assume they're related to Scrooge or The Grinch or Satan or Trump? No one Susan, that's who. Now… Continue reading Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

It's inevitable. Inevitably, I'm on the brink of turning the big(ger) thirty-two! And while I'm typically an antisocial introvert who wants zero part of anything that has to do with being anywhere near the center of attention, the truth is, I turn into a fucking intolerable diva around my birthday. I admit it. I'm kind… Continue reading The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

Witty Rants

Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

You know what irritates me? An extensive list of unnecessary fuckeries, to be frank. But let's get down to the business of raunchy, raging, ranting shall we? You see as of late, my greatest pet peeve has slowly become humanity; specifically the female portion of it. Yes. People are my pet peeves; especially the ones… Continue reading Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.