Is this a thing now? A weekly segment with the Fox?! Well let's not make any promises. I'm not very popular in the consistency department, but I fully intend on upping my fuckeries and keeping a more steady flow of petty ranting for your souls. The world needs more ranting and I'm here to make… Continue reading WTF-Is-On-Your-Mind Wednesdays
There are, roughly one trillion and sixty three point eight thoughts rough drafts titled "How To Rule The Universe" just ricocheting around my brain this evening like a maniacal frenzy of 1,000,000,000,063.8 invisible rubber bullets. "Typical Ely...so extra." You say with a subtle, but still noticeable roll of eyes. "Granted." I respond, wearing a half-smirk… Continue reading The Evolution of “More”
Emergency room "nurse": Hmm. When did this start? My actual arm the night I went to emergency room....there was more to it, but who wants pictures of this stuff? Sick fucks. 3-4 days ago, while I was out of the country in the Dominican Republic... they suggested I go to a hospital over there but...… Continue reading She Gives No Pox
I made it. I made it to day 3! Look at me! I'm a friggin' PRO at this challenge stuff, eh? Thanks for challenging me Paul, I wasn't really sure I'd get through this one but I needed another reason to sit in my new office and get in my zone so here I am! I'd… Continue reading Favorite Quotes, Day 3!
Heyyyy party over herrreeee! So. It's (my version of) day 2 for this Favorite Quotes 3 day challenge which my genius, phenomenal friend Paul -aka- The Captain's Speech asked me to participate in and now I feel like I've totally let him down because I suck at writing or doing anything with a deadline! Sorry Paul!… Continue reading Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)
It's past midnight here in Miami, which officially makes it Wednesday. So may I be the first to wish ya'll a happy Hump Day!? Do kids still say that? Meh. I'm a leader and a trend-re-setter anyways so fuck it. It stays. For the first time practically ever, I'm actually at a desk. In front… Continue reading Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!
Dwayne Wade is back in Dade with the Heat. Well ain't that neat? Not really, I don't honestly give a sheet shit. There goes my poet-ry. I was going for a slam dunk but I landed on the toilet seat and my rhyming took a dump. What a load of crap, I'm just saying- how… Continue reading Fox-News-Fridays
I'm a stubborn bitch person woman bitch- always go with your first instincts, boys and girls and never delete your first multiple choice answers on exams and when in doubt always choose "C"- ok. Let's try this again. ...With the delusional exception of winning a multi-million dollar lottery that I've never even purchased a ticket… Continue reading The Book Of Ely
To be honest? If you can't be an adult and handle a list of brutally honest opinions or "truths", then don't even bother reading. And if you're going to find the instant need to defend your own perception of each of MY honest opinions... well don't. Write your own blog post and speak your own… Continue reading TBH?
.....What are you even talking abo- oh just shut your fucking trap Susan seriously just shut it! NOT EVERYONE loves Christmas! Sure no one wants to be the dick who hates Shitmas I mean Christmas... like who WANTS people to assume they're related to Scrooge or The Grinch or Satan or Trump? No one Susan, that's who. Now… Continue reading Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug