Witty Rants

Fox-News-Fridays

Dwayne Wade is back in Dade with the Heat. Well ain't that neat? Not really, I don't honestly give a sheet shit. There goes my poet-ry. I was going for a slam dunk but I landed on the toilet seat and my rhyming took a dump. What a load of crap, I'm just saying- how… Continue reading Fox-News-Fridays

Witty Rants

The Book Of Ely

I'm a stubborn bitch person woman bitch- always go with your first instincts, boys and girls and never delete your first multiple choice answers on exams and when in doubt always choose "C"- ok. Let's try this again. ...With the delusional exception of winning a multi-million dollar lottery that I've never even purchased a ticket… Continue reading The Book Of Ely

Deep Rants, In Which I List The Things, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

TBH?

To be honest? If you can't be an adult and handle a list of brutally honest opinions or "truths", then don't even bother reading. And if you're going to find the instant need to defend your own perception of each of MY honest opinions... well don't. Write your own blog post and speak your own… Continue reading TBH?

Humor, In Which I List The Things, Witty Rants

Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

.....What are you even talking abo- oh just shut your fucking trap Susan seriously just shut it! NOT EVERYONE loves Christmas! Sure no one wants to be the dick who hates Shitmas I mean Christmas... like who WANTS people to assume they're related to Scrooge or The Grinch or Satan or Trump? No one Susan, that's who. Now… Continue reading Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

It's inevitable. Inevitably, I'm on the brink of turning the big(ger) thirty-two! And while I'm typically an antisocial introvert who wants zero part of anything that has to do with being anywhere near the center of attention, the truth is, I turn into a fucking intolerable diva around my birthday. I admit it. I'm kind… Continue reading The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

Witty Rants

Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

You know what irritates me? An extensive list of unnecessary fuckeries, to be frank. But let's get down to the business of raunchy, raging, ranting shall we? You see as of late, my greatest pet peeve has slowly become humanity; specifically the female portion of it. Yes. People are my pet peeves; especially the ones… Continue reading Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

Witty Rants

EXTRA EXTRA!! READ ALL ABOUT HOW I’M SOOO EXTRA EXTRA!

Hey Paul? You get 97.675783865% credit for this post title. #TeamGenius #NowPleasegogetFrostedFlakesyouwillthankmelater #BoyBye So we're knees-deep into this era of people being "EXTRA".  And I don't know who the punny little bitch was who came up with this "she's so extra" concept but I'm  (sans the peanut butter) because I feel like I am the… Continue reading EXTRA EXTRA!! READ ALL ABOUT HOW I’M SOOO EXTRA EXTRA!

Blogging about Blogging, In Which I List The Things, Lifestyle Rants, Witty Rants

In Other Knews…

Good evening and thank you for tuning in tonight! The fox is comin' at you LIVE and you're hearing it FIRST from WSGNF-9 Fox Knews 7 at 7... I have no idea. I just auto-assume that all news stations have "official" undercover code names that always start with a W followed by a bunch of… Continue reading In Other Knews…

In Which I List The Things, Witty Rants

101 Things That Make My Soul Sparkle

So here's the thing.  Paul stole borrowed this thing about a list of 101 liked and disliked things from someone who stole the thing from someone else and then everyone started stealing the thing from Paul because the thing is like, super fun and quick to read and relate to or disagree with and for sure, you'll… Continue reading 101 Things That Make My Soul Sparkle

Poetry/Freestyle Rap (your choice..), Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

January 30, 2003

Below is a poem that I've copied word-for-word from my high school journal. I was 17 years dumb. I don't write this type of stuff anymore BUT Paul's recent poem made me slightly nostalgic of the old wanna-be-poet I was once-upon-a-teenage-time AND I've  been meaning to reconnect to my teenage self via my old journals… Continue reading January 30, 2003