Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Parenting Rants, Witty Rants

The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

I don't know if it may be that Mother Nature is having a hormonal tantrum, or if perhaps global warming is to blame, or if there was like a catastrophic sperm-storm that hit every other uterus here in Miami and who knows where I was (thank God) but literally, I feel like I'm being ambushed… Continue reading The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Lately? It's like I'm either a cracked-out-unicorn pooping glitter and vomiting sunshine or an over-sedated, insomniac, depressed-about-being-depressed-about not-knowing-what-he's-depressed-about Eeyore (if you don't know who Eeyore is, we can't be friends. Good day sirs and ma'ms). Either way I'm some kind of horse, apparently. So that's just peachy. Unicorn or Eeyore. Horse or horse. (Shut up… Continue reading The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Deep Into The Foxhole, Passion

Immortal

When I was a child and I couldn't dare speak of the things that were happening in my home because I feared my brother and I would be taken away; because even though our parents were behaving recklessly, my instincts were to protect them by keeping secrets and playing pretend even if it meant physically… Continue reading Immortal

Blogging about Blogging, Letters, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

She. Who Will NOT Be Tamed…

Negative-Naomi, Pessimistic-Peggy, and Temperamental-Tricia were in town today and the Trifling-Trio decided they'd each stab a straw into my soul and slurp it out of me, kind of like how the witches from Hocus Pocus did to kids you know? But without straws because they had magic and well yea, like THAT. Luckily, my toxically sweet soul… Continue reading She. Who Will NOT Be Tamed…

Money Rants, Witty Rants

Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…

..."Cell phone disconnected as fuckkkk but I'm goin' to Mexico on a cruise bitchhhhh!!" (True story). So you're already questioning the validity of my opinion on what defines a "broke bitch"- I get it. It's more like irresponsible-as-fuck-bitch-who-will-never-have-her-priorities-in-life-straight-bitch. But in my defense, for all you know I am guilty of religiousless  (I'm pretty sure that's… Continue reading Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…