I'm a stubborn bitch person woman bitch- always go with your first instincts, boys and girls and never delete your first multiple choice answers on exams and when in doubt always choose "C"- ok. Let's try this again. ...With the delusional exception of winning a multi-million dollar lottery that I've never even purchased a ticket… Continue reading The Book Of Ely
Brace yo-selves. It's almost 20-18. And you know what that means. Sigh. Yes ya'll. It means all shape and form of social media will overfloweth with unimpressive, cliché AF, "New year NEW ME" resolution-fuckeries. 99.999999999% of which? Are all?...(ding ding DING!!) fitness goals. Mind you, bitches were just shoving bottomless plates of pork, rice, beans,… Continue reading New Year, Same Fuckeries
Okay FIRST of all? The whole idealism of "Thanksgiving" is a fucking sham. (Oh! Well then! Hi there Ely. Welcome back?) Friends? It's time we gathered 'round the table-o-truth here because we need to have a serious adultish talk. There's really no easy way to say this but- we have been DECEIVED! We done been… Continue reading Happy Hybrid-Wild-Gooseduck Day!
Your first thought: Who is this "Stella" and I mean..how many of them are there? Hmm...'cause I know zero Stellas except that one chick from the movie with the badass braids and muscle for days! And I obviously know you thought this 'cause I'm psychic. And come to think of it I forgot to… Continue reading To Every Stella Out There Right Now.
Fun fact: I am a geek who is obsessed with books! Above all, I am addicted to inspirational, humorous, sassy, real life type of books and I am so glad I ordered this little gem on Amazon! Cara is a self-made life coaching piece of human sass who started as just the blogger behind thechampagnediet.com… Continue reading Fearless and Fabulous
My balls have shriveled up when it comes to my writing. The fact that I haven't written a single word in I don't even know HOW long is not only embarrassing, it is physically debilitating. It's like someone shanked me in the gut with a thick shard of glass and dug their way through my… Continue reading There’s NO Giving Up at 30!