It was my second grade year. Banyan Elementary School. I still live close by and it never fails- the tiny little blondish see-through hairs on my arms stand up every time I pass the small school yard that once seemed to stretch further than the Pacific Ocean. And every single time, I think of that… Continue reading The Lonely Rose: The Birth of A Writer
For the past few weeks I've been digging deep for more light-hearted, funnier-ish, look-at-me-I'm-not-always-a-dark-sociopath content. Besides the two victims whom I wished explosive diarrhea upon (I'm sure it was justified), I think I've been doing ok-ish. Give me some credit. It's so tough. It's tough trying to aim for this positive, bright, encouraging, forever-witty, entertaining… Continue reading Lost, Frightened Puppy. Does Not Understand SEO’s or Adwords.
It's Thirsty Thursday ya'll! Who's thirsty for a rant?! [Confession] I admit it. I just made this Thursday thing up in light of my horrid time management skills because this post was supposed to be ready for WTF is on yo mind Wednesday but that clearly didn't happen and rants can't just marinate on the… Continue reading Thirsty-For-A-Rant-Thursday: A Biblical Boob Bitching
I planned on keeping these posts in list-format, but I'll make some particular exceptions if there is a more specific thing to rant about on any given Wednesday. I think I'll just go with the flow and with whatever I'm feeling. Also? How impressed are you? 3 weeks in row?! That's typically not even how… Continue reading WTF-Is-On-Yo-Mind-THURSDAY-Because-I-Have-A-Solid-Excuse-For-Skipping-Wednesday
Stiletto Shaped Nails WHY do your nails look like weapons? Is this even legal? Are you allowed on airplanes or inside of bars? First of all I'm terrified of you and secondly, I question your ability to properly wipe your own ass. I'm sorry. But I do. I have doubts. I don't even want to… Continue reading If You Love These “Trends” We Can’t Be Friends. Or maybe We Just Need Some Time To Re-Evaluate Our “Friendship”.
Well then! Welcome back ladies and gen- Oh you are just too much...thank you, thank you- you guys are just phenomenal! What a crowd! Love this energy! This is what it's all about! You feel that? That's adrenaline people! Yeaaaa!!! Wooooo! Ok let's keep it together here. Gotta get this show goin.. Welcome back to… Continue reading WTF-IS-ON-YO-MIND-WEDNESDAYS
Ok first of all? I know a lot about life. When people open their souls to me and tell me their struggles (may the Lort (that wasn't a typo) be with them) I'm always thinking to myself meh. Been there done that bought the t-shirt, the mug, the keychain, and the bumper sticker. What else… Continue reading Preach On, Preachy Preachin’ Preacher!
There are, roughly one trillion and sixty three point eight thoughts rough drafts titled "How To Rule The Universe" just ricocheting around my brain this evening like a maniacal frenzy of 1,000,000,000,063.8 invisible rubber bullets. "Typical Ely...so extra." You say with a subtle, but still noticeable roll of eyes. "Granted." I respond, wearing a half-smirk… Continue reading The Evolution of “More”
This morning was...just off. I was up at 4 a.m. tossing and turning, unable to get back to sleep. Wierd, because I'm the absolute worst kind of deep sleeper. Despite my innermost drama and the fact that I have all this miscellaneous junk floating around my mind at any given time, for as long as… Continue reading Let Go and Let August
I know that I'm not alone. It's an incomprehensibly big ass world out there and it's filled with billions of people who are going through all of the fucked up things. Not one of us on this planet is more deserving than the other of a happy life and not one of us is an… Continue reading Everything and Nothing