Dear Santa; Sigh. Level with me jolly old man. Pull up a chair. Get comfy. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Treat yo-self. Here...have a freshly purchased Walmart cookie with all the merry green and joyful red sprinkles and a hot cup of microwaved instant hot chocolate with extra tiny little marshmallows (I… Continue reading A Not-So-Merry Message For The Fat King of The North
Tag: #funny
Thirsty-For-A-Rant-Thursday: A Biblical Boob Bitching
It's Thirsty Thursday ya'll! Who's thirsty for a rant?! [Confession] I admit it. I just made this Thursday thing up in light of my horrid time management skills because this post was supposed to be ready for WTF is on yo mind Wednesday but that clearly didn't happen and rants can't just marinate on the… Continue reading Thirsty-For-A-Rant-Thursday: A Biblical Boob Bitching
If You Love These “Trends” We Can’t Be Friends. Or maybe We Just Need Some Time To Re-Evaluate Our “Friendship”.
Stiletto Shaped Nails WHY do your nails look like weapons? Is this even legal? Are you allowed on airplanes or inside of bars? First of all I'm terrified of you and secondly, I question your ability to properly wipe your own ass. I'm sorry. But I do. I have doubts. I don't even want to… Continue reading If You Love These “Trends” We Can’t Be Friends. Or maybe We Just Need Some Time To Re-Evaluate Our “Friendship”.
Preach On, Preachy Preachin’ Preacher!
Ok first of all? I know a lot about life. When people open their souls to me and tell me their struggles (may the Lort (that wasn't a typo) be with them) I'm always thinking to myself meh. Been there done that bought the t-shirt, the mug, the keychain, and the bumper sticker. What else… Continue reading Preach On, Preachy Preachin’ Preacher!
Give a Little Fox
When I was "younger" I had a mostly cliché vision of what my life was supposed to look like by the time I hit my 30's and I'm sure most if not all of you can relate to this vision in some shape or form: Own the "perfect" home (insert your definition of "perfect" here… Continue reading Give a Little Fox
30 Mini Mental-Fuckeries
...that cross my mind more often than I'm comfortable with. I swear I can't make this shit up. Well I could. But I wouldn't. That's not how I roll. Also? You can thank Paul because his genius "50 Thoughts" posts have inspired me ever since I started reading his blog so I guess this is… Continue reading 30 Mini Mental-Fuckeries
Slice of Beefcake, Anyone?
So I unintentionally started some "beef" (seriously haven't used that lingo since middle school and I have no idea why I'm using it now...but so what? You want beef too?!) between a friend of mines and an acquaintance of hers a couple of days ago. And there was cake involved. I started beef about cake.… Continue reading Slice of Beefcake, Anyone?
Hello, Summer!
This post is purely an excuse to (further) show off my first cake for the summer of 2018! I mean am I kidding myself right now?! Look at this masterpiece! I did this! Me! What?! Somebody pinch me! How did I get this far?! And even still, I have so much to improve on and… Continue reading Hello, Summer!
Confessions of a Broken Bride
For the past week I've been digging for some light-hearted rantspiration because I feel as if I'm constantly like damn girl, why you gotta be so dark all the time though? Lighten up yo. Except I haven't used the word "yo" since I was 12 when I also used to force my handwriting to resemble… Continue reading Confessions of a Broken Bride
Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)
Heyyyy party over herrreeee! So. It's (my version of) day 2 for this Favorite Quotes 3 day challenge which my genius, phenomenal friend Paul -aka- The Captain's Speech asked me to participate in and now I feel like I've totally let him down because I suck at writing or doing anything with a deadline! Sorry Paul!… Continue reading Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)
