When I was pregnant with my son, I felt like I was floating on a marshmallow cloud of motherly bliss. I had already been blessed with my perfect little princess and I also had a beautiful stepdaughter but I wanted my handsome little prince more than anything I had ever wanted in my life. Life… Continue reading In Which I Consider Selling My Son To The Black Market
Stiletto Shaped Nails WHY do your nails look like weapons? Is this even legal? Are you allowed on airplanes or inside of bars? First of all I'm terrified of you and secondly, I question your ability to properly wipe your own ass. I'm sorry. But I do. I have doubts. I don't even want to… Continue reading If You Love These “Trends” We Can’t Be Friends. Or maybe We Just Need Some Time To Re-Evaluate Our “Friendship”.
Ok first of all? I know a lot about life. When people open their souls to me and tell me their struggles (may the Lort (that wasn't a typo) be with them) I'm always thinking to myself meh. Been there done that bought the t-shirt, the mug, the keychain, and the bumper sticker. What else… Continue reading Preach On, Preachy Preachin’ Preacher!
It's almost official- I'm still working on it- but I've started my side-hustle web and blog. I've done a lot of mental back and forth with this site- not knowing what approach to take- and then it hit me. There's no approach. Just be your fucking self, and do the damn things. Here's my first… Continue reading The CEO of Keepin it Real
When I started blogging again towards the end of June last year- PS: I totally missed my re-bloggaversary, but I'm still accepting gifts and trophies and any kind of attention that doesn't require me to be seen or touched or directly spoken to- I sort of made an unspoken pact to leave my kids out… Continue reading Low-Key Badass Parenting
This morning was...just off. I was up at 4 a.m. tossing and turning, unable to get back to sleep. Wierd, because I'm the absolute worst kind of deep sleeper. Despite my innermost drama and the fact that I have all this miscellaneous junk floating around my mind at any given time, for as long as… Continue reading Let Go and Let August
I know that I'm not alone. It's an incomprehensibly big ass world out there and it's filled with billions of people who are going through all of the fucked up things. Not one of us on this planet is more deserving than the other of a happy life and not one of us is an… Continue reading Everything and Nothing
So I unintentionally started some "beef" (seriously haven't used that lingo since middle school and I have no idea why I'm using it now...but so what? You want beef too?!) between a friend of mines and an acquaintance of hers a couple of days ago. And there was cake involved. I started beef about cake.… Continue reading Slice of Beefcake, Anyone?
Can anyone here tell me what is lacking in this world more right now more than ever? Oh you're all so eager to answer this question! Alright alright now, settle down kids. Hmm let me seeee...eeny meenie miny.... Michael! Michael is the underdeveloped brown-nosing nerdy kid always sitting in the first row. He tries too… Continue reading Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology
For the past week I've been digging for some light-hearted rantspiration because I feel as if I'm constantly like damn girl, why you gotta be so dark all the time though? Lighten up yo. Except I haven't used the word "yo" since I was 12 when I also used to force my handwriting to resemble… Continue reading Confessions of a Broken Bride