Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Passion, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology

Can anyone here tell me what is lacking in this world more right now more than ever? Oh you're all so eager to answer this question! Alright alright now, settle down kids. Hmm let me seeee...eeny meenie miny.... Michael! Michael is the underdeveloped brown-nosing nerdy kid always sitting in the first row. He tries too… Continue reading Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology

Deep Into The Foxhole, Passion, Relationship Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Confessions of a Broken Bride

For the past week I've been digging for some light-hearted rantspiration because I feel as if I'm constantly like damn girl, why you gotta be so dark all the time though? Lighten up yo. Except I haven't used the word "yo" since I was 12 when I also used to force my handwriting to resemble… Continue reading Confessions of a Broken Bride

Lifestyle Rants, Parenting Rants

UPDATE!!!! re: “An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say”

If you follow my Instagram account then you would already know that my son is back at the fighting gym and is now on the "blue team". No later than 2 days after having sent that email, (if you are completely lost that's cool you can read it here) I received this response: Hi Ely,… Continue reading UPDATE!!!! re: “An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say”

Letters

An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say

Word for word. That's how I graced the subject line of the e-rant that I just electronically shipped to the manager of the gym where my son has been receiving mixed martial arts training for the past 3 months.You already know that this title was well fucking calculated. I'm sure this guy gets TONS of… Continue reading An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say

Deep Into The Foxhole, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

To be.

I am a lot of things. I won't list said "things" because I could be here all damn day hitting you with an epic "about me" essay, but obviously one of the main things I am is a shameless over-sharer. Let's face it, I'm a fan of talking about myself and of my life- the… Continue reading To be.

Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Parenting Rants, Witty Rants

The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

I don't know if it may be that Mother Nature is having a hormonal tantrum, or if perhaps global warming is to blame, or if there was like a catastrophic sperm-storm that hit every other uterus here in Miami and who knows where I was (thank God) but literally, I feel like I'm being ambushed… Continue reading The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

Witty Rants

3 Years of Tiers and Tears

First off, let me just say this. CAKE IS NOT "EASY AS CAKE". Whoever said that- fuck her. Or him. Cake is straight up HARDCORE mafia-level serious business. Not only is it an art, but it's a science. Every little detail matters. Whether or not you sifted your flour, what kind of flour you use,… Continue reading 3 Years of Tiers and Tears

Witty Rants

The Giddy Thief

I've been holding off on posting my next masterpiece emotional disaster because I really want to work on something strategically funny and upbeat, as opposed to another depressing neverending rant from hell. So I've been waiting patiently to get my giddy back. Because I'm bored of being like, this angry pandemoniac raging beast anxious mommy… Continue reading The Giddy Thief

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Lately? It's like I'm either a cracked-out-unicorn pooping glitter and vomiting sunshine or an over-sedated, insomniac, depressed-about-being-depressed-about not-knowing-what-he's-depressed-about Eeyore (if you don't know who Eeyore is, we can't be friends. Good day sirs and ma'ms). Either way I'm some kind of horse, apparently. So that's just peachy. Unicorn or Eeyore. Horse or horse. (Shut up… Continue reading The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Witty Rants

Monday Mourning Mid-Traffic Rants: Throwin’ Shade

Yes. You read that correctly. Monday mornings are for mourning. And YES Susan this is a mid-traffic rant. Go ahead. Let it out girl. No. No This is not the same thing as texting and driving, so please do actually spare me your safe-driving melodramatic lectures about how people can die. First of all, everyone… Continue reading Monday Mourning Mid-Traffic Rants: Throwin’ Shade