Tag: #confessions

Blogging about Blogging, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Wrecking Ball

Ely

There's this wall. This brick wall. It's like, as tall/long/wide whatever as that wall in China. Look Susan, I am NOT turning to google to fact-check whether that wall still exists but I can only imagine it must because that shit would take forever to knock down and then another 67 forevers to clean up… Continue reading Wrecking Ball

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Deep Into The Foxhole, Lifestyle Rants, Witty Rants

The Little Worker Bee That Could

Ely

Have you ever felt...trapped? Trapped by yourself, trapped by others, trapped by your circumstances, trapped by your fears and your inhibitions, trapped by nothing that you didn't create for yourself to begin with? I feel fucking trapped. And I can finally at least say it or write it "out loud" without giving a damn about… Continue reading The Little Worker Bee That Could

Witty Rants

Left Boob Bitchings: The Sequel

Ely

Let's not even beat around the bush here. I've got a rant. And I'm all giddy and flusterfucked about it....yet at the same time, not really. An odd concoction of emotions, right?! But also? There needs to be some tangy, fruity alcoholic drink named The Giddy Flusterfuck or just, The Ely. That'll get you drunk… Continue reading Left Boob Bitchings: The Sequel

Humor, Witty Rants

Bleach Happens

Ely

This past weekend was a surprisingly relaxed and down-to-Earth, backyard-BBQ-with-the-fam, rollerblade around the block with the kids, and just chill type of weekend. No cake orders. No devices, overly needy children nor alarms to wake me up in the mornings. No impossible house chores to tackle. Seriously. It was just- a stand-up, exemplary, suit-wearing, chivalrous… Continue reading Bleach Happens

Letters, Witty Rants

The Break-Up Letter of the Century

Ely

Dear Starbucks; Sigh. Hey sexy. It's me. I know I know! You've been worried about me. Another year vanished into non-existence and a new year has graced us and yet, you haven't seen or heard from me in a good 2, going on 3 weeks now? Geez. Did you wonder if I was dead by… Continue reading The Break-Up Letter of the Century

Humor, Letters, Witty Rants

A Not-So-Merry Message For The Fat King of The North

Ely

Dear Santa; Sigh. Level with me jolly old man. Pull up a chair. Get comfy. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Treat yo-self. Here...have a freshly purchased Walmart cookie with all the merry green and joyful red sprinkles and a hot cup of microwaved instant hot chocolate with extra tiny little marshmallows (I… Continue reading A Not-So-Merry Message For The Fat King of The North

Witty Rants

Tsunamis

Ely

[This isn't going to be your preferred Monday type of inspirational or funny read... I apologize for that right now. But I just needed to get these words off my chest and I promise to keep it moving after this. I figured maybe there would be a light at the end of this... I'm still… Continue reading Tsunamis

Blogging about Blogging, Deep Rants

Lost, Frightened Puppy. Does Not Understand SEO’s or Adwords.

Ely

For the past few weeks I've been digging deep for more light-hearted, funnier-ish, look-at-me-I'm-not-always-a-dark-sociopath content. Besides the two victims whom I wished explosive diarrhea upon (I'm sure it was justified), I think I've been doing ok-ish. Give me some credit. It's so tough. It's tough trying to aim for this positive, bright, encouraging, forever-witty, entertaining… Continue reading Lost, Frightened Puppy. Does Not Understand SEO’s or Adwords.

Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Witty Rants

Thirsty-For-A-Rant-Thursday: A Biblical Boob Bitching

Ely

It's Thirsty Thursday ya'll! Who's thirsty for a rant?! [Confession] I admit it. I just made this Thursday thing up in light of my horrid time management skills because this post was supposed to be ready for WTF is on yo mind Wednesday but that clearly didn't happen and rants can't just marinate on the… Continue reading Thirsty-For-A-Rant-Thursday: A Biblical Boob Bitching

Witty Rants

In Which I Consider Selling My Son To The Black Market

Ely

When I was pregnant with my son, I felt like I was floating on a marshmallow cloud of motherly bliss. I had already been blessed with my perfect little princess and I also had a beautiful stepdaughter but I wanted my handsome little prince more than anything I had ever wanted in my life. Life… Continue reading In Which I Consider Selling My Son To The Black Market