Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Parenting Rants, Witty Rants

The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

I don't know if it may be that Mother Nature is having a hormonal tantrum, or if perhaps global warming is to blame, or if there was like a catastrophic sperm-storm that hit every other uterus here in Miami and who knows where I was (thank God) but literally, I feel like I'm being ambushed… Continue reading The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother

Witty Rants

3 Years of Tiers and Tears

First off, let me just say this. CAKE IS NOT "EASY AS CAKE". Whoever said that- fuck her. Or him. Cake is straight up HARDCORE mafia-level serious business. Not only is it an art, but it's a science. Every little detail matters. Whether or not you sifted your flour, what kind of flour you use,… Continue reading 3 Years of Tiers and Tears

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Lately? It's like I'm either a cracked-out-unicorn pooping glitter and vomiting sunshine or an over-sedated, insomniac, depressed-about-being-depressed-about not-knowing-what-he's-depressed-about Eeyore (if you don't know who Eeyore is, we can't be friends. Good day sirs and ma'ms). Either way I'm some kind of horse, apparently. So that's just peachy. Unicorn or Eeyore. Horse or horse. (Shut up… Continue reading The Cracked-Out-Unicorn That Could. or Couldn’t. Whatever.

Witty Rants

Write & Let Write. Don’t be a DICK.

I'm not ignorant. At least not most of the time. Like except when people who claim to be family or friends or people who "care" give me "healthy" advice like "Starbucks is too expensive you should really consider cutting back." Whhhatt??! How fucking DARE you! You know NOTHING. You are NOTHING! :::slurping noises from my… Continue reading Write & Let Write. Don’t be a DICK.

Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Let’s Live….

Let's live for the subtle things; the things that are not things; the things that are everything but subtle; the simple things that are interlocked with much deeper things; the things that are so much more than nothing, but so much less than everything; the things that don't seem significant, but will in the end, make… Continue reading Let’s Live….

Deep Rants, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

You know. I'd recently been going through some disturbing stuff. If you're not all caught up, well let's just say the life-demons conspired to gang-rape my soul and leave me stranded...shivering and dazed in a gutter somewhere in the middle of the ghetto and it's taken me quite some time to fully "function" again and… Continue reading Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

Soul-Searching Rants

To Every Stella Out There Right Now.

Your first thought: Who is this "Stella" and I mean..how many of them are there? Hmm...'cause I know zero Stellas except that one chick from the movie with the badass braids and muscle for days!     And I obviously know you thought this 'cause I'm psychic. And come to think of it I forgot to… Continue reading To Every Stella Out There Right Now.

Work Rants

HR UNCUT: The Harsh Truths About Your Resumes That You NEED TO KNOW

Let me begin this shenanigan post off by justifying my credibility in this category. You see, when it comes to my priorities: my kids, my levels of caffeine toxicity, and my career are all sitting on a pedestal so high up there, not even Jesus can fuck with it. And just don't. Let me stop… Continue reading HR UNCUT: The Harsh Truths About Your Resumes That You NEED TO KNOW

Money Rants, Witty Rants

Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…

..."Cell phone disconnected as fuckkkk but I'm goin' to Mexico on a cruise bitchhhhh!!" (True story). So you're already questioning the validity of my opinion on what defines a "broke bitch"- I get it. It's more like irresponsible-as-fuck-bitch-who-will-never-have-her-priorities-in-life-straight-bitch. But in my defense, for all you know I am guilty of religiousless  (I'm pretty sure that's… Continue reading Broke-Rich Bitches Be Like…