Humor, In Which I List The Things, Witty Rants

Monday Confessional (1): Bah Humbug

.....What are you even talking abo- oh just shut your fucking trap Susan seriously just shut it! NOT EVERYONE loves Christmas! Sure no one wants to be the dick who hates Shitmas I mean Christmas... like who WANTS people to assume they're related to Scrooge or The Grinch or Satan or Trump? No one Susan, that's who. Now… Continue reading Monday Confessional (1): Bah Humbug

Deep Rants, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

You know. I'd recently been going through some disturbing stuff. If you're not all caught up, well let's just say the life-demons conspired to gang-rape my soul and leave me stranded...shivering and dazed in a gutter somewhere in the middle of the ghetto and it's taken me quite some time to fully "function" again and… Continue reading Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

Witty Rants

Happy Hybrid-Wild-Gooseduck Day!

Okay FIRST of all? The whole idealism of "Thanksgiving" is a fucking sham. (Oh! Well then! Hi there Ely. Welcome back?) Friends? It's time we gathered 'round the table-o-truth here because we need to have a serious adultish talk. There's really no easy way to say this but- we have been DECEIVED! We done been… Continue reading Happy Hybrid-Wild-Gooseduck Day!

Blogging about Blogging, Deep Rants, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

A Breakdown of Breakdowns

No human lives were harmed during the making of this post but I cannot speak for the cruel and unusual punishment used upon English grammar. This post has NOT been tested on animals, nor is it kid-tested/mother-approved. The fuckeries to follow have FURTHER not been approved by the FDA so if you consume this inorganic bullshit,… Continue reading A Breakdown of Breakdowns

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

It's inevitable. Inevitably, I'm on the brink of turning the big(ger) thirty-two! And while I'm typically an antisocial introvert who wants zero part of anything that has to do with being anywhere near the center of attention, the truth is, I turn into a fucking intolerable diva around my birthday. I admit it. I'm kind… Continue reading The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

Witty Rants

Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

You know what irritates me? An extensive list of unnecessary fuckeries, to be frank. But let's get down to the business of raunchy, raging, ranting shall we? You see as of late, my greatest pet peeve has slowly become humanity; specifically the female portion of it. Yes. People are my pet peeves; especially the ones… Continue reading Class-A -vs- Class-B Bitches: A Bitching about Bitches.

Lifestyle Rants, Witty Rants

ELEVEN.

Dear. EVERY. single. person. on. this. planet. with. electricity. hot water. and. a. normal. life. right. the. fuck. now: And believe me when I say, this is not me being all cute and snarky and "Awe, the Fox is harmless! She's just being her sarcastic awesome self, you really can't take her serious"... NO! You… Continue reading ELEVEN.

Witty Rants

The Art of Parting

Sigh. Because if I’ve EVER had a girl-writer-crush… it’s now. Damn Girl, ALWAYS fucking killing it and inspiring me to the fullest! A MUST READ! Like now! GO, damn it.

Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together.

This is going to come as a huge shock to you: I’m a fairly saucy woman. Spicy. A firecracker. A real pistol. An over-eater…wait, no, that doesn’t belong there.

I enjoy myself very much. I kick ass, take names, make sure those names are kicking ass, and make sure those asses are kicking names. What can I say, I’m thorough.

Being this way has its benefits. I set my mind to something and just…go. If there is something I want on the other side of a mountain, give me a shallow spoon and watch me tunnel, baby.

There is, however, a dark side to combining ambition, intense love, and brutal honesty.

The arson in me recognizes the arson in you

This post is for my warrior women. My Xenas. My tough mothers. Damn, you are sexy AF. I love powerful women. You bitches aren’t to be trifled with, and I…

View original post 1,084 more words

Humor, Letters, Relationship Rants, Witty Rants

Dear Irma;

Hey big momma!I see you girlfriend. Rest assured, the world sees you! You had a point to make, and listen honey- lord knows you're out here making your fucking point. You're one big, bad, crazy, scary bitch, I gotta give it to you! We are impressed, to say the least. Everyone is out here hating on you- ruthlessly… Continue reading Dear Irma;