Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Let’s Live….

Let's live for the subtle things; the things that are not things; the things that are everything but subtle; the simple things that are interlocked with much deeper things; the things that are so much more than nothing, but so much less than everything; the things that don't seem significant, but will in the end, make… Continue reading Let’s Live….

Witty Rants

Fox-News-Fridays

Dwayne Wade is back in Dade with the Heat. Well ain't that neat? Not really, I don't honestly give a sheet shit. There goes my poet-ry. I was going for a slam dunk but I landed on the toilet seat and my rhyming took a dump. What a load of crap, I'm just saying- how… Continue reading Fox-News-Fridays

Witty Rants

The Book Of Ely

I'm a stubborn bitch person woman bitch- always go with your first instincts, boys and girls and never delete your first multiple choice answers on exams and when in doubt always choose "C"- ok. Let's try this again. ...With the delusional exception of winning a multi-million dollar lottery that I've never even purchased a ticket… Continue reading The Book Of Ely

Humor, Letters, Witty Rants

Little Letters To Astronomical Assholes: SuperCunt Stylist

Dearest SuperCunt Stylist; You don't know me. Not personally at least. We shared 15 minutes of mostly awkward time together and exchanged a few forced words that served to slay the dragon-sized silence that filled the space between us. But don't you worry because I'm confident that by the end of this letter you will… Continue reading Little Letters To Astronomical Assholes: SuperCunt Stylist

Deep Into The Foxhole, Witty Rants

New Year, Same Fuckeries

Brace yo-selves. It's almost 20-18. And you know what that means. Sigh. Yes ya'll. It means all shape and form of social media will overfloweth with unimpressive, cliché AF, "New year NEW ME" resolution-fuckeries. 99.999999999% of which? Are all?...(ding ding DING!!) fitness goals. Mind you, bitches were just shoving bottomless plates of pork, rice, beans,… Continue reading New Year, Same Fuckeries

Humor, In Which I List The Things, Witty Rants

Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

.....What are you even talking abo- oh just shut your fucking trap Susan seriously just shut it! NOT EVERYONE loves Christmas! Sure no one wants to be the dick who hates Shitmas I mean Christmas... like who WANTS people to assume they're related to Scrooge or The Grinch or Satan or Trump? No one Susan, that's who. Now… Continue reading Monday Confessionals (1): Bah Humbug

Deep Rants, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

You know. I'd recently been going through some disturbing stuff. If you're not all caught up, well let's just say the life-demons conspired to gang-rape my soul and leave me stranded...shivering and dazed in a gutter somewhere in the middle of the ghetto and it's taken me quite some time to fully "function" again and… Continue reading Treat Yo Sadness by Treating Yo Self

Witty Rants

Happy Hybrid-Wild-Gooseduck Day!

Okay FIRST of all? The whole idealism of "Thanksgiving" is a fucking sham. (Oh! Well then! Hi there Ely. Welcome back?) Friends? It's time we gathered 'round the table-o-truth here because we need to have a serious adultish talk. There's really no easy way to say this but- we have been DECEIVED! We done been… Continue reading Happy Hybrid-Wild-Gooseduck Day!

Blogging about Blogging, Deep Rants, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

A Breakdown of Breakdowns

No human lives were harmed during the making of this post but I cannot speak for the cruel and unusual punishment used upon English grammar. This post has NOT been tested on animals, nor is it kid-tested/mother-approved. The fuckeries to follow have FURTHER not been approved by the FDA so if you consume this inorganic bullshit,… Continue reading A Breakdown of Breakdowns

Deep Rants, Witty Rants

The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood

It's inevitable. Inevitably, I'm on the brink of turning the big(ger) thirty-two! And while I'm typically an antisocial introvert who wants zero part of anything that has to do with being anywhere near the center of attention, the truth is, I turn into a fucking intolerable diva around my birthday. I admit it. I'm kind… Continue reading The Unravelings of Semi-Adulthood