I don't know if it may be that Mother Nature is having a hormonal tantrum, or if perhaps global warming is to blame, or if there was like a catastrophic sperm-storm that hit every other uterus here in Miami and who knows where I was (thank God) but literally, I feel like I'm being ambushed… Continue reading The Results Are In. Facebook… You ARE The Mother
I just finished reading the most eloquently written blog post on Facebook. A friend shared it from mom.me and I was enticed only because some other friends complimented it/shared it again and I suddenly felt challenged. And I admit- it was beautifully delivered. It's everything an English professor could ever dream of. But that doesn't… Continue reading In Response to A Mommy Blog
I am going to go APE-SHIT crazy! I'm sick of logging into Facebook and reading all of these ridiculous opinions about the fucking gorilla and the child in my newsfeed. Who ARE you people? The response to this tragic incident from imperfect people, including far-from-perfect mothers across the globe has literally nauseated me. Sans the… Continue reading Ya’ll Haram-Be Trippin’
This mini-shitstorm starts at the end of a pretty normal day. It's after 6 and a close friend of ours has done us the favor of picking up JJ from daycare because for some reason or another, neither Joey or I are able to make it on time. Traffic probably sucked as usual. For reference,… Continue reading No Ice-Ice BABY.. I mean, DICKHEAD.
(RE-BLOGGED from my ex-blog Sass Past Midnight): Needless to say, a lot has been-a happnin’ in the delirious world of yours truly over the last couple of months. I have been fidgeting and face-booking for like… 40 minutes, trying to organize my hot mess of a life in my mind and figure out a civilized fashion in which to spill… Continue reading Vagisil Is Safe For Bubble Baths! (You’re Welcome!)
Warning: (I can’t find that word that means “caution” before or after writing something, to justify any misinterpretations by people who suck). I am at this very moment, high off of Percocet, patiently awaiting results to a CT-scan in the emergency room. I am therefore, not responsible for my writing. Bite me. Actually please don’t,… Continue reading Defective Parenting 101
So my cousin's wife and her buddy recently established a fabulous new little psycho-community on FB called "Bat Shit Crazy Moms." When I saw my invite to join this group I was so giddy and full of joy my butt jiggled. Well. My butt is always jiggling. (note to self: handle that shit. Fatass.) Anyways... a "judge-free" zone where… Continue reading In Honor of All Bat-Shit-Crazy Moms