Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Passion, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology

Can anyone here tell me what is lacking in this world more right now more than ever? Oh you're all so eager to answer this question! Alright alright now, settle down kids. Hmm let me seeee...eeny meenie miny.... Michael! Michael is the underdeveloped brown-nosing nerdy kid always sitting in the first row. He tries too… Continue reading Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology

Humor, Witty Rants

She Gives No Pox

Emergency room "nurse": Hmm. When did this start?  My actual arm the night I went to emergency room....there was more to it, but who wants pictures of this stuff? Sick fucks. 3-4 days ago, while I was out of the country in the Dominican Republic... they suggested I go to a hospital over there but...… Continue reading She Gives No Pox

Witty Rants

Mid-Flight Rants

When you're hovering 30 something thousand feet in the air inside of a synthetically engineered metal bird, all you can honestly think about, is death. Let's face it. No one wants to admit the morbid fuckeries that are lingering around our brains while we are unnaturally up in the sky because that's just too real… Continue reading Mid-Flight Rants

Deep Into The Foxhole, Passion, Relationship Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Confessions of a Broken Bride

For the past week I've been digging for some light-hearted rantspiration because I feel as if I'm constantly like damn girl, why you gotta be so dark all the time though? Lighten up yo. Except I haven't used the word "yo" since I was 12 when I also used to force my handwriting to resemble… Continue reading Confessions of a Broken Bride

Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants

Favorite Quotes, Day 3!

I made it. I made it to day 3! Look at me! I'm a friggin' PRO at this challenge stuff, eh? Thanks for challenging me Paul, I wasn't really sure I'd get through this one but I needed another reason to sit in my new office and get in my zone so here I am! I'd… Continue reading Favorite Quotes, Day 3!

Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)

Heyyyy party over herrreeee! So. It's  (my version of) day 2 for this Favorite Quotes 3 day challenge which my genius, phenomenal friend Paul -aka- The Captain's Speech asked me to participate in and now I feel like I've totally let him down because I suck at writing or doing anything with a deadline! Sorry Paul!… Continue reading Rainy Daze/ Favorite Quotes Day 2 (Let’s Pretend It’s Day 2, Cut Me Some Slack!)

Deep Into The Foxhole, Humor, Lifestyle Rants, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!

It's past midnight here in Miami, which officially makes it Wednesday. So may I be the first to wish ya'll a happy Hump Day!? Do kids still say that?  Meh. I'm a leader and a trend-re-setter anyways so fuck it. It stays. For the first time practically ever, I'm actually at a desk. In front… Continue reading Favorite Quotes Challenge- Day 1!

Lifestyle Rants, Parenting Rants

UPDATE!!!! re: “An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say”

If you follow my Instagram account then you would already know that my son is back at the fighting gym and is now on the "blue team". No later than 2 days after having sent that email, (if you are completely lost that's cool you can read it here) I received this response: Hi Ely,… Continue reading UPDATE!!!! re: “An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say”

Witty Rants

The Coolest Flocking Flamingle Like EVER.

"Hi! I'm Ely... the stepmom!" [insert fake smile] "Welcome! Oh this must be... [insert pause while I fake-patiently await oversized raging hormonal pre-teen number 37's name. Also- what the hell are these kids eating? Are they all on steroids?! They're giants! 6 foot tall little boys and 12 year old girls on their periods everywhere… Continue reading The Coolest Flocking Flamingle Like EVER.

Letters

An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say

Word for word. That's how I graced the subject line of the e-rant that I just electronically shipped to the manager of the gym where my son has been receiving mixed martial arts training for the past 3 months.You already know that this title was well fucking calculated. I'm sure this guy gets TONS of… Continue reading An Unhappy Mom With Things To Say