The Write-or-Die Chick

Hey Humans! Ely here (Elizabeth) but seriously, call me Ely. And it’s pronounced EH-LEE, not E-LIE (if there’s one thing I DO NOT do, it’s lie. Ever!). Yes, yes… I know it should actually be spelled Eli, but I make the rules of my names, not you. I’m just saying. Ok we’re good let’s move on!

So I’m the “writer” but like, I prefer to be labeled one of these things (please choose whatever makes your soul do the hokey- pokey and turn itself around when you read it out loud):

  • Ranter-of-all-the-Things-No-One-Needs-To-Hear-But-MUST
  • Expert-Bitcher
  • Queen-of-Puns
  • Slayer-of-all-Nay-Sayers
  • Word-Gangstah (woorrrddd??!)

Ok that was corny.

And since I’m too dissonant, and utterly incapable of properly putting together a respectable “About Me” section that satisfies the hungry narcissist within (because I have deleted and re-written this section 765,3678 times) I figured I’d just awkwardly list all of the things. Because people like lists these days don’t they? Oh. They HATE lists? Meh. I can’t keep up with trends these days.

  • I’ve traveled around the sun, 32 times
  • Born-&-raised in Miami, Fl (I’m pretty sure I even write with a Miami accent but only Miami people would even understand that…)
  • I’m a mad-cool mom of 2 (Tiffany is 8, JJ is 6) and a step-mom of 1 (Adriana is 12 and I’ve been her step mommy since she was 2.5)
  • I’m a temperamental, socially-complex/kind-of awkward, kind-of-introvert, typically misunderstood person/thing
  • I’m ridiculously snarky, blunt and sarcastic, to the point where like, people just can’t tell if I’m serious, a human, an alien, or even alive or real. I’m not sure if I’m sure either at this point.
  • I say shit like “like,” start sentences with And and Because more than anyone I know, and I do A LOT of self-interrupting and ask/answer my own questions. I guess you can say I have incredibly strange and off-topic conversations with myself mid-whatever-post.
  • I write exactly how I speak. Which means I say fuck way more than anyone would deem humanly possible. And which is why it’ll feel like you’re actually talking to me and not reading a fictional fucking novel when I publish a post
  • I’m pretty sure that I’m borderline bipolar, full-blown ADHD, full-blown anxious on several levels, borderline depressed/high on life (it all happens in waves), and I 100 percent have anger management issues.
  • I had a pretty intense childhood and my teenage years weren’t great. I open up here about those demons- and I’m ok with it.
  • My health insurance does NOT cover mental-health visits. Thus- this blog. I put it all out there. That’s why I’m here. To connect with anyone and to let people know they’re not alone in even their most ridiculous thoughts.
  • I’m a part-time baker and cake-designing hustler- it’s my “art” other than writing.
  • I’m so addicted to caffeine, I’m convinced it will be my cause of death.
  • I’ve been Obsessed with writing and journaling since the age of 7- when it all began with a story I called “The lonely Rose”. It was a about a lone-rose who was born in a garden of daisies and was always feeling left out and different. She was always sad. The story ends with the Rose understanding she was unique and beautiful and her confidence, attracted all the daisies to want to be her friend! I WAS IN GRADE 2! I did THAT.
  • I’m here to figure shit out, let it all out and hopefully make you laugh more than anything!

So essentially I’m a hot mess. First I drink the coffee, then I feel all the things, then I write ALL the things, then I share alll the things, then I immediately regret all the things.  It is what it is. Take it or leave it…

b9HBopO

Well good talk guys! High five! Nice to sorta cyber-meet ya! I look forward to making friends all over the world and being a part of this amazing support system that is WordPress. Hugs! Far away hugs! Because please don’t touch me, I have a thing with personal space….. lol!

27 thoughts on “The Write-or-Die Chick”

      1. If you did read my about me- you’d then know that we are probably more alike than not in this sense!!! I am SEEKING unapologetic souls like myself EVERY SINGLE DAY and may I say? WE ARE RARE creatures! Never apologize for who you are or what you love! Love CONQUERS and your voice is the only thing you have in this life… so you USE IT!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a strategy Tony. Are you humblebragging?! I bet you’re an amazing writer and now I’m even more intrigued. I’m the queen of reverse psychology ok?! Haha. Well played. I’ll be reading your work for sure now. The term boring is highly abused and overrated. And thank you for reading.

      Like

      1. I swear I am like a school girl when I find one of my tribe…like full-on giddy right now! 😉
        Oh, I guess I should warn you before you come over….I kinda had a bad year. So, while normally I like to think of myself as somewhat funny and light-heartedish (ok, that’s not true, I’m a Virgo and over analyze the shit out of everything), but there was some shit that needed to be bled out and posts have been somewhat, well moody or just heart-breaking. I’m sure that just incentivized the shit out of you to visit, but there are little glimpses of me ‘pre-mid-life crisis, my entire fucking world fell apart’ mode. You just have to sift through the death, heartbreak and destruction parts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Omg. Lol. That does NOT scare me away. My life is a mess lol and part of my purpose has been to release my demons of the past and get to the root of my issues which was a very difficult childhood. My posts are temperamental as fuck. One day I’m funny one day I’m a poet one day I’m dark one day I’m glittering. It depends on everything. I respect you girl. This makes me want to read even MORE lol! We are for sure from the same tribe!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. phew, good to hear. I was hell bent on writing something funny this weekend. Like full-on mission. But it’s fucking raining, and has been all weekend, and how are you supposed to be fun when it’s cold and rainy. And now I’m write back in the same place I was last time it was cold and rainy…and that was a terrible place. So, I’m distracting myself with words, instead. They don’t even have to be funny. They just have to be real…and put together in a way that makes me feel.
        So thanks for the distraction. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Girl YES. Just always do whatever comes in the moment. Predictability is overrated. NEVER apologize for what your heart tells you to write and never feel a need to justify your emotions. Just say what you need to say and free yo-self! 🤗 it’s raining here in Miami! I’m mid-rant and trying to be funny is always a mission on days like these I totally feel you!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Ely, I know what you mean, those about pages can be the worst. You’ll write, re-write and edit, and then suddenly, inspiration strikes—and you have to scrap the whole thing and begin anew! Writers insurance, that’s what we all need. Great About Me page, even though (if I may say) I think it was more about you, but that’s probably better than writing about me anyway—this being your blog and all. Still, I thought I should follow my Bro-nada—which is slang for Paul (in Canadianese), and who just so happens to be my identical twin brother who looks nothing like me, and who hails from the country of Toronto—and come over here and check out your blog where I’ve discovered you write about…THINGS—which beats the hell out of writing about STUFF, which is what I tend to write about. Seriously, though, it’s a pleasure to come check out your blog, Ely. ‘O)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha!!! Thank you so much for this! I appreciate you coming by!!!! It’s MESSY OVER HERE, and I take it- judging by your blog title- things get messy on your side too eh?! Well I’m ALL for the messy stuff and the messy things so COUNT ME IN Hahah!!!

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      1. Oh, a little dusty at times perhaps—”Cough, cough.” Even somewhat unkept “MY GOD, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT WEB!” Oh, where was I again? Oh yeah, about all those rumours, you know, concerning the general untidiness of my attic. Well, I think they might be true Ely, “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SPIDER!” Are ya still sure you wanna be counted in on all my sloppiness, though? MY GOD, I’M OUTTA BLACK FLAG, CALL PEST CONTROL! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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