The Write-or-Die Chick

Hey Humans! Ely here (Elizabeth) but seriously, call me Ely. And it’s pronounced EH-LEE, not E-LIE (if there’s one thing I DO NOT do, it’s lie. Ever!). Yes, yes… I know it should actually be spelled Eli, but I make the rules of my names, not you. I’m just saying. Ok we’re good let’s move on!

So I’m the “writer” but like, I prefer to be labeled one of these things (please choose whatever makes your soul sparkle when you read it out loud):

  • Ranter-of-all-the-Things-No-One-Needs-To-Hear-But-MUST
  • Expert-Bitcher
  • Queen-of-Puns-Of-All-The-Lands
  • Grammar-Fugitive-On-The-Run-From-All-The-Blog-101ers
  • Word-Thug

And since I’m too dissonant, and utterly incapable of properly putting together a respectable “About Me” section that satisfies the hungry narcissist within (because I have deleted and re-written this section 765,3678 times) I figured I’d just awkwardly list all of the things. Because people like lists these days don’t they? Oh. They HATE lists? Meh. Then with more reason:

  • I’ve traveled around the sun, 31 times
  • Born-&-raised in Miami, Fl (I’m pretty sure I even write with a Miami accent)
  • I’m a mad-cool mom of 2 (Tiffany is 7, JJ is 5) and a step-mom of 1 (Adriana is 11)
  • I’m a temperamental, socially-complex/kind-of awkward, kind-of-introvert
  • I’m ridiculously snarky, blunt and sarcastic, to the point where like, people just can’t tell if I’m serious, a human, an alien, or even alive.
  • I say shit like “like,” start sentences with And more than anyone I know, and I do A LOT of self-interrupting and ask/answer my own questions. I guess you can say I have incredibly strange and off-topic conversations with myself mid-whatever-post.  That’s who I am- I’m messy and I don’t hold anything back, ever.
  • I write exactly how I speak. Which means I say fuck way more than anyone would deem humanly possible.
  • I’m pretty sure that I’m borderline bipolar, full-blown ADHD, full-blown anxious on several levels, borderline depressed/high on life (it all happens in waves), and I 100 percent have anger management issues.
  • My health insurance does NOT cover mental-health visits. Thus- this blog. Duh.
  • I’m Engaged to my high-school sweet-heart
  • I’m a supervisor for a growing chain of vascular surgical centers and I’ve been in the medical field for 12-20 years, I’m not really sure anymore.
  • I’m a part-time baker and cake-designing hustler- it’s my “art” other than writing.
  • I’m so addicted to caffeine, I’m convinced it will be my cause of death.
  • I’ve been Obsessed with writing and journaling since the age of 7- when it all began.
  • I’m here to figure shit out. Everything. About myself. About the world. About humanity. About life and death. Whatever comes, comes.

So essentially I’m a hot mess. First I drink the coffee, then I feel all the things, then I write ALL the things, then I share alll the things, then I immediately regret all the things.  It is what it is. Take it or leave it…

b9HBopO

Well good talk guys! High five! Nice to sorta cyber-meet ya! I look forward to making friends all over the world and being a part of this amazing support system that is WordPress. Hugs! Far away hugs! Because please don’t touch me, I have a thing with personal space….. lol!

 

19 thoughts on “The Write-or-Die Chick”

      1. If you did read my about me- you’d then know that we are probably more alike than not in this sense!!! I am SEEKING unapologetic souls like myself EVERY SINGLE DAY and may I say? WE ARE RARE creatures! Never apologize for who you are or what you love! Love CONQUERS and your voice is the only thing you have in this life… so you USE IT!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a strategy Tony. Are you humblebragging?! I bet you’re an amazing writer and now I’m even more intrigued. I’m the queen of reverse psychology ok?! Haha. Well played. I’ll be reading your work for sure now. The term boring is highly abused and overrated. And thank you for reading.

      Like

      1. I swear I am like a school girl when I find one of my tribe…like full-on giddy right now! 😉
        Oh, I guess I should warn you before you come over….I kinda had a bad year. So, while normally I like to think of myself as somewhat funny and light-heartedish (ok, that’s not true, I’m a Virgo and over analyze the shit out of everything), but there was some shit that needed to be bled out and posts have been somewhat, well moody or just heart-breaking. I’m sure that just incentivized the shit out of you to visit, but there are little glimpses of me ‘pre-mid-life crisis, my entire fucking world fell apart’ mode. You just have to sift through the death, heartbreak and destruction parts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Omg. Lol. That does NOT scare me away. My life is a mess lol and part of my purpose has been to release my demons of the past and get to the root of my issues which was a very difficult childhood. My posts are temperamental as fuck. One day I’m funny one day I’m a poet one day I’m dark one day I’m glittering. It depends on everything. I respect you girl. This makes me want to read even MORE lol! We are for sure from the same tribe!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. phew, good to hear. I was hell bent on writing something funny this weekend. Like full-on mission. But it’s fucking raining, and has been all weekend, and how are you supposed to be fun when it’s cold and rainy. And now I’m write back in the same place I was last time it was cold and rainy…and that was a terrible place. So, I’m distracting myself with words, instead. They don’t even have to be funny. They just have to be real…and put together in a way that makes me feel.
        So thanks for the distraction. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Girl YES. Just always do whatever comes in the moment. Predictability is overrated. NEVER apologize for what your heart tells you to write and never feel a need to justify your emotions. Just say what you need to say and free yo-self! 🤗 it’s raining here in Miami! I’m mid-rant and trying to be funny is always a mission on days like these I totally feel you!

        Liked by 1 person

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