Hey Humans! Ely here (Elizabeth) but seriously, call me Ely. And it’s pronounced EH-LEE, not E-LIE (if there’s one thing I DO NOT do, it’s lie. Ever!). Yes, yes… I know it should actually be spelled Eli, but I make the rules of my names, not you. I’m just saying. Ok we’re good let’s move on!
So I’m the “writer” but like, I prefer to be labeled one of these things (please choose whatever makes your soul do the hokey- pokey and turn itself around when you read it out loud):
- Word-Gangstah (woorrrddd??!)
Ok that was corny.
And since I’m too dissonant, and utterly incapable of properly putting together a respectable “About Me” section that satisfies the hungry narcissist within (because I have deleted and re-written this section 765,3678 times) I figured I’d just awkwardly list all of the things. Because people like lists these days don’t they? Oh. They HATE lists? Meh. I can’t keep up with trends these days.
- I’ve traveled around the sun, 32 times
- Born-&-raised in Miami, Fl (I’m pretty sure I even write with a Miami accent but only Miami people would even understand that…)
- I’m a mad-cool mom of 2 (Tiffany is 8, JJ is 6) and a step-mom of 1 (Adriana is 12 and I’ve been her step mommy since she was 2.5)
- I’m a temperamental, socially-complex/kind-of awkward, kind-of-introvert, typically misunderstood person/thing
- I’m ridiculously snarky, blunt and sarcastic, to the point where like, people just can’t tell if I’m serious, a human, an alien, or even alive or real. I’m not sure if I’m sure either at this point.
- I say shit like “like,” start sentences with And and Because more than anyone I know, and I do A LOT of self-interrupting and ask/answer my own questions. I guess you can say I have incredibly strange and off-topic conversations with myself mid-whatever-post.
- I write exactly how I speak. Which means I say fuck way more than anyone would deem humanly possible. And which is why it’ll feel like you’re actually talking to me and not reading a fictional fucking novel when I publish a post
I’m pretty sure thatI’m borderline bipolar, full-blown ADHD, full-blown anxious on several levels, borderline depressed/high on life (it all happens in waves), and I 100 percent have anger management issues.
- I had a pretty intense childhood and my teenage years weren’t great. I open up here about those demons- and I’m ok with it.
- My health insurance does NOT cover mental-health visits. Thus- this blog. I put it all out there. That’s why I’m here. To connect with anyone and to let people know they’re not alone in even their most ridiculous thoughts.
- I’m a part-time baker and cake-designing hustler- it’s my “art” other than writing.
- I’m so addicted to caffeine, I’m convinced it will be my cause of death.
- I’ve been Obsessed with writing and journaling since the age of 7- when it all began with a story I called “The lonely Rose”. It was a about a lone-rose who was born in a garden of daisies and was always feeling left out and different. She was always sad. The story ends with the Rose understanding she was unique and beautiful and her confidence, attracted all the daisies to want to be her friend! I WAS IN GRADE 2! I did THAT.
- I’m here to figure shit out, let it all out and hopefully make you laugh more than anything!
So essentially I’m a hot mess. First I drink the coffee, then I feel all the things, then I write ALL the things, then I share alll the things, then I immediately regret all the things. It is what it is. Take it or leave it…
Well good talk guys! High five! Nice to sorta cyber-meet ya! I look forward to making friends all over the world and being a part of this amazing support system that is WordPress. Hugs! Far away hugs! Because please don’t touch me, I have a thing with personal space….. lol!