Blogging about Blogging, Caking & Baking, Humor, Witty Rants

The CEO of Keepin it Real

It’s almost official- I’m still working on it- but I’ve started my side-hustle web and blog. I’ve done a lot of mental back and forth with this site- not knowing what approach to take- and then it hit me. There’s no approach. Just be your fucking self, and do the damn things. Here’s my first blog post directed towards the cake world!

Dearest readers, fellow artists, bakers, customers new and old, friends, family, haters, believers- dearest all of ya’ll:

I’d like to start this website and blog off by clarifying a few things about who I am and what I stand for personally and “professionally”. GASP! She’s going to get personal on her professional website?! [insert slow-motion voice change] Noooo!!! Don’t do it girl!

Well first of all, fuck yes. GASP! She uses foul language?!? Well, also first of all, fuck yes.

Let’s all just chillax for a minute. I know some of you-particularly if you’re instafamous or well-established home-based side hustlers-are shaming me, shaking your bobble-heads in cohesive disagreement, or unanimously rolling your eyes right now hard AF. That’s ok. I get it. I’m with-it. I know what your fancy seminars and your books and your classes and your google searches and your YouTube tutorials and your mentors have taught you. Don’t get personal. Blah-blah-blah. Business is business. Blah-blah-blah. Keep it to yourself. Blah-blah-blah.

But here’s the thing. Or rather, the things:

I’m not the glorified CEO of some fancy Wall Street financial institution, strolling around rocking Armani suits and sipping “sparkling water” from a straw what a load of fuckery that sparkling water hype is. It’s like the degenerate, incest, black-sheep 4th cousin of Sprite. Get outta here with that liquified stupidity.

I’m an artist, damn it. I’m an artist who happens to bake delicious cake and happens to sell said artistic delicious cake as a means of extra income despite how intense and demanding the labor is and despite having a full time day job and kids and a home and hobbies and a life. I do it because it is my creative outlet, and because I happen to be pretty good at it, actually.

I go above and beyond for my clients and I always do my best to surpass even my own expectations. Believe me when I say I have nothing but respect and appreciation for ever single person who has ever chosen and trusted me to design their cakes. I’m a humble person. I truly am. But I’m also very extra. I admit it!

But that doesn’t rub off too well on a certain type of people out there. The judgey judging judge Judy’s and the sensitive sheepy Shelly’s, to be specific. And I’m over it, to be specific.

I’m human, just like you Judys and Shellys. I’m not a robot. Tell me. Tell me why I have to pretend to be something or someone that I’m not for the sake of pleasing a certain type of people or market or whatever in attempt to get them to buy a cake?! Sis please. Take yo ass to Walmart- let’s see what kind of personal customer service and custom art work you get there.

What does my sassiness and my extra-ness have to do with cake or my ability to bake and design a bad ass cake and why should my personal life interfere with my success as an artist? Why should people not relate to me as an individual? Why should I not share my feels? Why should I restrain my choice of words? Why is it a bad business move for the world to know my struggles? To know my failures and my mistakes and my rock bottoms? To know my accomplishments and my growths and my journey towards a better me and a better life?

My side hustle is very much an integral part of my personal life and my PERSONAL experiences along with my PERSONAL emotions and my PERSONALITY is the soul of the reason as to why I can even express myself as an artist- be it via cake or writing poetry or an incessant rant or a painting.

I am not a robot.

I am not two separate human beings.

I am not a sham wrapped in flesh.

I am not a schizophrenic.

I am not a con artist.

I am not some false illusion of a business woman who has it all figured out.

I am just, and only, me. Imperfect. Disorganized. Socially awkward. Too-loud. Soft blanket and pajamas obsessed. Notebook collecting. Starbucks coffee addicted. Potty mouthed. Black-hole chasing. Alien believing. Shower singing. Guacamole craving. Daydreaming. Height fearing. Outspoken. 90s music listening. Nocturnal. Insecure but beautiful little me.

I am not an exception to pain, suffering, reckless behavior, waves of depression, anger, nor insecurity. I am fucking human too. I bleed the same red stuff you bleed. I breathe the same air you breathe. I am no lower nor are you no higher.

Don’t judge me, nor my passion based on my sometimes over-the-top snappy ways with words. I am a writer to the core. Writing has saved my life, a countless number of times. Without writing- there would be no ME to speak of.

So I wanted to have this section of my cake site as a form of being able to openly express myself with regards to the cake industry as well as to share tutorials, recipes, inspiration, etc. but I wanted it to be genuine. And funny. And legit. And open minded. Controversial even. But still, ME.

And that’s why it’s taken me so long to even begin this site and blog. Because I’ve never known how to wanted to have to feel forced to filter myself or to be fake. And I don’t know why in the hell anyone out there would even want to do business with a shady bitch to begin with!

I may sugarcoat for a living, but I don’t sugarcoat when it comes to life.

I’m a baker with a glittering black soul, a sarcastic and twisted sense of humor and a go-getter attitude and I believe, no matter what the books or the pros say, that passion will forever weed out and outshine the bullshit..

I hope you’ll stick around for the sweet and the sometimes sour stuff. I think a zero-nonsense cake blog can be a refreshing approach for us all. Or maybe I’ll fail and walk away with my tail between my legs. Maybe. Irregardless, Either way, love me or hate me- I am what I am.

-The Petty-ish Baker

11 thoughts on “The CEO of Keepin it Real”

  1. Yay I’ve been waiting for your damn cake blog for forever! I would hope that you keep the sass because I would have noticed! Like, who the hell is she trying to kid?! Lol I think it’s going to be fun! Good luck and love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So glad you did it in a way that stays true to who you are! Not sure I was ready for some professional-sounding/politically correct sentences coming from you. It would’ve been wayyy too weird lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL I’ve been getting that from all angles hahaha! Def sticking to whatever I am. I don’t think people should judge my cake off of my other-worldliness characteristics. Thanks for always supporting me Paul!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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