Caking & Baking, Humor, Witty Rants

Slice of Beefcake, Anyone?

So I unintentionally started some “beef” (seriously haven’t used that lingo since middle school and I have no idea why I’m using it now…but so what? You want beef too?!) between a friend of mines and an acquaintance of hers a couple of days ago. And there was cake involved. I started beef about cake. Soooo…beefcake! Ya dig?!

YES you do. Anyways- said beefcake began with a meme I posted on Instagram- which I stole borrowed from another baker who posted it- because it was so relevant and abso-fucken-lutely necessary to share.

And because seriously, fuck people who can’t value or appreciate the bottomless work and dedication that I put into my cakes. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there is no such thing as an “easy” or “quick” cake when it comes down to my work. Even the smallest fondant decorated cake will take me forever because 1- I work a full time job so it’s not like I’m home all day just baking and decorating cake and because 2- every tiny detail matters to me. Maybe those reasons are one in the same, but my point is- NO more little Miss Sweet Baker giving away her work and being a sucker.

I’m done sugar coating this hustle. I started this because I needed an extra source of income for my family so all passion for the art set aside, if that’s not happening then it’s pointless. At the end of the day, this isn’t a fucking charity foundation. No one feels sorry for me when I lose a full 48 hours of sleep and can’t spend quality time with my kids- because I chose this hustle. No one put a gun to head and said “bake, or die bitch”. So why should I feel sorry for people who can’t afford my work? Why have I so OFTEN come out of my own pocket to pay for materials because I undercharged a design and never said anything to anyone about it?! And I’m not referring to friends and family I’m referring to perfect fucking strangers! Why!?

No more!

And so clearly I’m pretty emotional about this whole thing. I am. And to make the emotional shit-show worse here’s the caption that went with my post:

Even still, it’s not that fucking serious. I mean but did you die though?! Did I personally offend anyone other than my bitch of a subconscious Susan? Nope. It was a general statement that I feel strongly about, that’s all. It wasn’t an attack towards any specific person.

Or so I thought! Here’s the actual text I got from my friend about what happened with her friend, the day after I posted that meme and referenced “Susan” in my caption. You’re not even ready for this.

THE CHICK’S NAME IS SUSAN!!? And she was JUST recommending my friend to PUBLIX for cake the day before!!? AND she follows my cake account on Instagram!


How do things like this happen?! I swear, it was pure fucking coincidence, Susan!


The moral of this story is….

Actually. There’s no true moral here. Social media is a bitter shit show and insecure people will forever assume random shit is directly meant for them no matter how random it may be.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you posted something without directly targeting anyone and yet someone felt some type of way about it? I mean in my case, I’m a psychopath schizo who named the little voice in her head “Susan” but that wouldn’t hold up as a proper defense system would it?

I belong in a pink strait jacket far away from the general population.

25 thoughts on “Slice of Beefcake, Anyone?”

  1. Bwahahaha! This is amazing!

    I am always surprised by how much it costs me to make cakes. I mean those ingredients are blooming pricey (especially if you want it to taste amazing) I wish I lived near you so I could order an epic cake. I’d have to think of a good reason first though!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Super expensive girl! Here in the U.S. I pay 14$ for VANILLA EXTRACT because I use the “good stuff” 14$ is like half a week of gas for my car lol. If you want quality cake you have to use quality stuff! Thanks for understanding! And reading! Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! I think I’d prefer to spend it on vanilla for yummy cakes…I’d just rather it wasn’t *quite* that pricey!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Honestly, that’s kind of amazing that happened. I’m sorry, but that beef was destined to be. The stars aligned for that shit.

    But seriously, fuck undercharging people for cakes. I don’t even undercharge my friends (unless I’m told I’m not required to bring a gift to the birthday or whatever, because I’m not going to make you pay for a cake AND not get you/your kid a toy). If my friends want a free cake from me… BITCH THAT’S WHAT THEY GET. They get a 99-cent on-sale Pillsbury box mix covered in canned frosting.

    Also, YAY I definitely need to follow you on Instagram!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LOL that is too good! Every future caption needs to have a reference to Susan in it. “It took me longer to make this cake than it did to write a long text about a meme. #SayonaraSusan”. Thanks for the laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, Wow Ely! I’m sorry about the drama, but your cakes would be totally worth it! I just followed you on Instagram myself and it’s not even 8am and I’m like “I want all the cakes” People need to chill out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL!!! Aw thanks! Don’t apologize-i thrive off this stuff, it gives me blog material hahah!! And people seriously need to chill out. The world shall continue to move on!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Bahahaha if it were to happen to someone it would happen to you! This is just too hilarious! I say, if the shoe fits wear it bitch lol it’s actually really funny you posted this about Publix cake because just the other day I saw a fb friend from over there talking about how delicious Publix cake is compared to other grocery store cakes lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My LUCK! And hey- I don’t hate on Publix! They’re not bad cakes! I’m
      Just saying, you can’t expect to pay a public price for a custom work of edible art right?! People have high expectations of your work and then expect to pay dirt money for it! Ummm! No? So yea. You know how it is! Thanks prima xoxox!


  6. Fuckers!
    People are so tight they squeak. I made a cake for my sons birthday. A cake I made up a recipe for based on Ferrero Rocher.
    It had 3 bags of hazelnut flour in it at $11 a pop. Eighteen eggs, chopped hazelnuts, whole hazelnuts about 4lbs of chocolate, a mountain of butter, sugar,whipping cream amaretto and frangelico. Oh and 2 boxes of Ferrero Rocher. (Some decorated the cake, some didn’t but every slice served had one with it)
    I made homemade alcoholic Nutella, that alone was a couple of hours work. 6 layers of cake with hazelnut flour , regular flour egg whites etc – so you know what a ball ache that was. The cake was filled with the alcoholic nutella and chocolate buttercream and was then frosted all over with enough chocolate to make you never want to see chocolate again. It cost me over $70 just to make it not counting the alcohol.
    So I posted pics on Facebook. One person said I’d expect to pay UP TO $25 for a cake like that..
    I don’t know how I didn’t go batshit crazy on them! I am I no way a professional, I’m a mum that likes making cakes for my family. I don’t and won’t ever make for others because they suck all the pleasure out of it with comments like that.
    You can’t cure cheapskates but you don’t have to take their shit either!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg. YESSSS! You understand! Lol. Girl one time my best friend asked me to make her daughter a 3 tier fondant cake- THE WORKS- hand painted in gold, an huge tier full of handmade ruffles (took 6 hours to finish just that one tier) and details galore for a Snow White theme. I said OK, I’m going to charge you just the material- so I took her with me… she spent 250$ in material for this cake. And that’s not including the almost 12 hours I spent working on it. It was gorgeous. But only then would people understand! Gas, electricity, time, it all matters. I’m over it! The only way to succeed here is to weed out the cheap ones and find the high end clients who understand what CUSTOM WORK is worth!! Thanks for reading love!

      Liked by 1 person

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