Deep Into The Foxhole, Deep Rants, Passion, Soul-Searching Rants, Witty Rants

Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology

Can anyone here tell me what is lacking in this world more right now more than ever?

Oh you’re all so eager to answer this question! Alright alright now, settle down kids. Hmm let me seeee…eeny meenie miny….

Michael! Michael is the underdeveloped brown-nosing nerdy kid always sitting in the first row. He tries too hard and says too much. Look at this desperate little shit waving both hands in the air and squealing in his seat. If I don’t pick him he’ll piss himself. Ok let’s see what you think Big Mike!

Natural resource preservation!

Oh ok you mean recycling? So extra. Well yes and no but no. Not today M-Dawg. The disappointment on his face is priceless right now. This kid needs a hug and a Xanax.

Who else? Anyone? How abooouuutttt- ah yes-

Sally? Sally wears too much make up, chews gum like a cow chewing grass, and keeps trying out for the cheerleading squad every year even though she can barely walk on a flat surface without tripping over herself every 3 seconds.

Like? Ummm. Ok so like. I mean. Sally’s brain is likely to explode but don’t worry folks- it’s all air in there. Not much of a clean up. You mean maybe like…organic mascara? And stuff?

Oh for fuck fudge sake! Organic mascara? No. No sally. The world doesn’t need more organic masc- DEFINE organic masc- ok let’s just move on.

Bobby! B-Boss! Enlighten these people for the love of all things good would ya? Bobby isn’t the brightest bulb in the box. He’s pleasantly plump and has permanent chocolate stains in the corners of his mouth. His hobbies include breakfast, lunch, dinner and hibernation.

Seriously? Obviously cake. For sure. Cake.

Bobby boy!!! Yes!! Cake!!!!! Right now, Michael is contemplating suicide. The rest of the class is utterly confused and wondering where I got my teaching degree. Quite frankly that is none of their business though.

But no….not cake kids. The answer is not cake. Annnddd I give up.


What the world needs even more than cake is compassion boys and girls. Now sit your empty heads down and pay attention to today’s lecture. There will be a quiz. Should you fail said quiz, it will be highly recommended that you stop taking up the little bit of space left on this planet.

Now. This is a complicated topic. Granted. Originally, I was going to say humility and then I thought meh…respect, definitely respect, people need to stop raising little assholes like the ones in this classroom and then I was all like nope, for sure loyalty, but then what about patience and all of the other basic virtues outlined in the “How to Be a Decent Fucking Human Being: For Dummies” handbook?

I really didn’t know where to start! In other words, humanity is going to shit. Slowly but surely.

I sound angry. Do I sound angry? Because I’m actually a ball of fucking sunshine today. It’s Friday, I don’t feel bloated, my skin looks pretty clear and I’m leaving town tomorrow to leave my children at my aunts house for a mini summer vacation (for me). Life is tropical. Even still, I’m just generally tired of people being such inconsiderate assholes these days. I’m tired of the negativity and senselessness that’s plagued us like a cloud of poisonous gas.

A few weeks ago I logged into Facebook and saw that a friend of a friend and his wife were involved in a super tragic motorcycle accident. I don’t know them-but they’re local and young and had LIVES and a little boy together. Motorcycle accidents are unfortunately common here in Miami as a result of an increase in population and traffic but also, people on the road have truly lost respect for motorcyclists and it’s sad but at the same time, motorcyclists have also lost respect for the road. A combination of both often leads to tragedy. And it saddens me to see young lives lost over a passion.

This stuff always hit close to home because I was also raised around motorcycles and love everything about them. I’ve witnessed a fatal accident WHILE on a motorcycle and 11-12 years ago my fiancé was in a nearly fatal accident on one as well which left him with titanium for a most of his leg and a sometimes foggy memory but he’s here and that’s all that matters.

Anyways as I scroll through Facebook and see the painful posts of this once happy family, I bump into the unthinkable: a video that someone recorded the moment the accident happened.

The couple had taken a curve too swiftly, hit the wall on a highway ramp and flew OVER the ramp, landing onto the oncoming traffic below. The young man’s body was lifeless and dismantled. His wife apparently landed on him, which as far as I know- saved her or atleast left her in critical condition at the time (I don’t know if she made it or not) and she was moving around obviously in shock and unable to get up. You could see blood. You could see too much. It was too much.

It was an intense and graphic 5 second video that had NO business being posted on social media during such an incredibly sensitive time for their loved ones. HOW DARE THEY?! I don’t fucking get it!!! Beneath the video were ENDLESS requests for the video to be reported/removed and yet it was there for over a week. I reported it myself. I still can’t get the images out of my head- you can’t unsee that sort of thing, you know?

Then this week a young local underground rapper was murdered while sitting in his car, and of course someone who was at the scene of the crime before the police and ambulance arrived recorded the boy’s dead body and posted it on YouTube. Why?! W.H.Y.!?

While it’s not the first nor the second nor will it be the last time that people ignorantly post inappropriate things on social media, I can’t help but wonder when and how we began to lose our sense of compassion towards other human beings. Why do we intentionally do things that we know will cause people emotional pain?

People have become fucking heartless monsters.

No one helps old people cross busy streets anymore. No one stops to help someone push a stranded car from out of the middle of the road or into the gas station that’s less than 25 feet away. No one lets the lady with ONE item and a crying child skip them in the line at Walmart even though they have 2 carts full of food they don’t even need because hey, free government money right? No one smiles anymore because that’s weird, what a sick bastard he just practically raped me, I feel violated. I’m making a police report.

No one cares about the 87 year patient who shows up at her doctor’s office asking for help with an insurance issue because she has no family left and is losing her memory and can’t use a phone on her own. No one pays attention to the amount of abuse happening in nursing homes and no one considers that they’re late to work because someone just died in a car accident ahead of them and lives are in the process of being ruined.

We fucking MATTER. I matter. You matter. They matter. Everyone matters.

Collectively, we are one. How and when did we start to fall apart? Things are so bad, it’s difficult to even find the words to describe it all. But if we could find the space in our hearts for compassion- man that could cause a domino effect of love in this world. One kind act of compassion after another, could literally be that change that we so desperately need right now.

I’m guilty of thinking: “I’m only one person. Nothing I ever do could possibly make a difference”, but you know what I think I’ve been wrong about that. It has to start somewhere. Anywhere.

We can’t let the cold night rob us of our hope and sunshine. Let’s stop blaming our presidents and each other for the these jungles of disaster that sprouted from seeds which we’ve planted within ourselves! Let’s get it the fuck together and rise above the stupidities and the selfishness. Let’s LOVE again!

Thanks for listening class. Now go. Go find the little lights in your souls and illuminate the world with them.

4 thoughts on “Lectures With Dr. Fox, PhD in Rantology”

  1. Well said, Ely! A lot of people have lost all sense of decency. It’s sickening that people would share videos as graphic as that, just to try and benefit with some publicity. There should be a fine for that or something.

    As for the first part of this post, hilarious as always!! Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Paul! Zero morals these days. Damned kids. Back in MY dayyy…. LOL let me put away my cane and hide my greying hairs. But seriously- enough is enough. And thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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