Heyyyy party over herrreeee!
So. It’s (my version of) day 2 for this Favorite Quotes 3 day challenge which my genius, phenomenal friend Paul -aka- The Captain’s Speech asked me to participate in and now I feel like I’ve totally let him down because I suck at writing or doing anything with a deadline! Sorry Paul! I’m here though! I’m here. And I promise day 3 won’t take me a month to do! (I gave myself some slack there so that like, if I end up writing day 3 on day 7 for instance, I still win since I said I wouldn’t take a month- but you caught that. Because you’re the captain of Team Genius, duh!)
This is going to be a long post (shocking!) but here’s the thing: I needed to get this other post out because it’s been hanging out in my drafts for longer than I’m comfortable with, and I’m done questioning myself about publishing it. So it’s happening. I may lose likes and followers over it, but it’s happening. And I figured it would be efficient of me to just throw in a great quote to match the theme of the post (somewhat). So Bam! Here it is:
There’s something about a rainy day that gets my ranting juices flowing on a much deeper level. Something about darkness layered upon daylight makes this little light of mines shine darker than the brightest darkness ever. It’s like this switch gets turned on (or off?) inside of my mind and I guess you could say I get lost in this gloomy but glittery trance of thought that transcends all things “normal”. You know, sometimes I wonder if anyone else ever gets lost up in these thought-clouds as much as I do and I wonder if this is how the term “airhead” came about because I tend to be one of those internally complicated distracted types who comes off as dumb because the little things tend to fly right over my head. Like- hey let’s talk quantum physics and Charles Darwin but for the love of all things good don’t fucking ask me if I’m headed east or west on the highway. No seriously- do not ask me. I don’t know where I’m going.
But back to the rain? Maybe it’s the calming sound of countless drops collectively falling onto the surface of the Earth or maybe it’s the soothing shade of grey clouds or maybe it’s the sudden void of people or maybe it’s just all of it. I don’t know. What I do know is that I feel the rain. It heightens my senses and elevates my soul. It awakens me. Super corny, I know. But like suddenly I want to read all the books and write all the poetry and clean all of the cabinets and ask all the questions. Suddenly, I want to know all of the things. And don’t be shocked to learn that my curiosities all tend to be directly related to religion and space and evolution. And religion.
Dear Sensitive sheep readers: Now would be the perfect time to exit this blog, because I’m about to go HAM on ya boy Jesus and all things Holy.
“Pray for me if you must. Unfollow me if you must. Unfriend me if you must. Do what you must, for the fox fears nothing and rant, she must.” -FoxPsalms 411-65.6
Who actually “wrote” the Bible or rather, who put it together?
- They’re a collection of ancient scriptures you say?
- Written by whom and collected by whom and do we even trust this guy?
- What’s his credit score and did he ever “accidentally” take pens from the workplace?
- How do we know words weren’t fondled with (word molesters are very much real and we deserve a website that gives us little red dots to hint us on the whereabouts of these evil fucking criminals!)
- Why was so much information, conveniently disregarded? :::coughDINOSAURScough:::coughNEANDERTHALS:::coughALIENScough:::coughEVOLUTIONcough::: Oh dear! Excuse me..my allergies to BULLSHIT seem to be acting up again.
“And on the 12th day the almighty Fox said, LET THERE BE SHADE!”
And you mean to preach to me that there is only one God but just kidding because there’s also Allah and Jehovah and Buddha and the Brahman and maybe this supreme power is also Big Foot and the Easter Bunny as well, amiright?
- So basically, this guy or thing some kind of chameleon-wizard-healing-ghost?
- If in fact, there were only one and only one true “God” then wouldn’t the entire fucking world be following the same beliefs and traditions and religious practices and wouldn’t everyone have the same picture of the same dude up on their walls (and am I the only one who feels deeply violated by this? Like why are his eyes forever following me?)Also? Jesus is the guy who got crucified and arose from the dead and could magically “heal”, fine. Granted. But whose actually his father, and why have I never once seen a picture of this one?
- Supposedly God is the father, the grand creator of all things- but not just grass and humans and the light of day- no no no. This dude claims to be responsible for the birth of the entire fucking universe. The cosmos ya’ll.
- But then where was HE (assuming he actually is a he and not an it or a thing) when he was abruptly struck by boredom and was all like “Meh. Let’s make some black holes and galaxies and parallel universes and all these dimensions and maybe even this crazy cool little round floating watery shit-show of a place with people and animals and coffee shops.”
- Like was he binge-watching Drop Dead Diva on Netflix? I need a physical fucking location, I don’t think you’re understanding.
- If he CREATED outer space and everything that we know exists- WHERE. WAS. HE. AND. WHERE.
THE. HELL.DID. HE. COME. FROM? WHO. ARE. HIS. PARENTS?
- How can GOD be the beginning if he was already somewhere, cooking all this shit up?
And do we truly all have souls?
- Because if our bodies are just shells taking up space on this planet-will our souls have minds once it floats away from our bodies when we die?
Let’s think this out here.
- If our brains are scientifically functional within our bodies through all of these connections to nerves and flowing blood and physical things wired within these “shells” which our souls are supposedly occupying- then how the fuck do we suppose a “soul” or a “spirit” can think or remember or feel or make decisions or do anything at all once we disconnect and transition out of our bodies?
- How do we suppose we are destined to reunite with our loved ones someday if we can’t feel or remember or think?
- And if a soul can experience and feel and make decisions and think, then should we assume our souls are also wired with a transparent spirit-brain and spiritual nerves and see-through ghost-blood?
- But then that would also mean that we could still feel and suffer and experience things when we are “ghosts” or spirits or whatever?
- Consequently, the preaches about peace and heaven and pure eternal bliss must be pure eternal bullshit because if we can remember then we can feel and we can suffer and we can mourn and so then what is this paradise we picture as Heaven, really because if spirit-life is anything like human life then quite frankly, I hope I just come back as a piece of grass because that sounds like an eternal disaster. I pass.
Actually I’m not done. Can we talk about “church”?
- Because WHY?
- Oh yea let’s all repent on Sundays and then go right back to being raging assholes on Monday. Sure. Yea. Why not.
- Isn’t God in the rocks and in the trees and everywhere? Isn’t he constantly listening and watching in and checking his naughty and nice list twice? OH MY… GOD IS SANTA!
- With that said, why do I have to walk into his “home” which by the way- what real estate guru because this guy has MILLIONS of “homes”…
- Also- God loves me unconditionally and doesn’t care what I look like or if I have money yet I need to force myself to follow a Hollywood Little Whore on the Prairie dress code and wake up ridiculously early on a Sunday to listen to some maybe child molester rant in some Shakespeare-on -Heroine sounding kind of language that’s typically impossible to understand
- And what’s up with that smell in there? Why does it have to be so creepy and awkward and quiet. Was Jesus raised in a library? Shut up. Or not. Don’t shut up, actually.
Fun facts? I wasn’t raised in a religious household. We never went to church. We never prayed at the dinner table. I don’t even recall ever eating as a family at the dinner table. But I recall trying to want to pray. So I prayed for new puppies and that Gameboy. I was a kid who also wished upon a star, wrote letters to Santa, waited anxiously for the Easter Bunny, believed in mermaids and Big Foot and had an imaginary friend named Tapatha. I was a believer. But when it came to Jesus and God and Church, I mostly just believed in what I was told I was supposed to believe in. Because “heaven” right?
But truth be told, I stopped “believing” all the religious nonsense by the time I was 9 or 10. I had this huge Precious Moments bible and I remember sitting in bed trying to read it every now and then, seeking for my “aha” moment when I would fall in love with Jesus and all things holy. But listen, the huge book just felt like a sham. None of it made sense to me. So I remember asking for signs. I remember pleading with the guy like “Jesus if you’re REAL, send me a sign. Make my lights flicker right now. Do something. Prove yourself. Roll over. Bark. Sit. Show yourself.” Oh the innocence…
What made me angry once and for all, was the accumulation of all those nights I got on my knees when no one was watching and I prayed for real things and even apologized for having ever selfishly prayed for a puppy or a game. I prayed for my dad to STOP hurting my mother and I prayed for her to stop manipulating him to the point of no return. I remember praying for things a little girl should never have to pray for. But it didn’t stop. Not for a long time and by that time, I’d forgotten I ever even tried. I was so over Jesus. By that time, my grandfather had already become my savior. He was the one who showed up and defended my mom and made sure we were good. Where was Jesus and his daddy when I needed them the most? Marinating on their golden thrones drinking fancy red wine and being fed grapes? Whatever yo.
I know this was harsh, but please know that I mean no disrespect and while I’m fully aware that I may “need Jesus in my life”, I still call bullshit. And if he’s out there and he’s reading this- he totally gets it. And I’ll be forgiven because blogging about my feels isn’t against ethereal law. I truly respect you all, and I hope that the universe or whatever higher energy is out there continues to bless you all and give you hope and reason to keep on keeping on.
And NOW I challenge 3 more beauties that deserve every damn follower and fan and friend out there! GO NOW!
No pressure ladies! If you can’t or don’t want to participate, I completely understand! But if you decide to, I can’t wait to read your posts!