- Dwayne Wade is back in Dade with the Heat. Well ain’t that neat? Not really, I don’t honestly give a
sheetshit. There goes my poet-ry. I was going for a slam dunk but I landed on the toilet seat and my rhyming took a dump. What a load of crap, I’m just saying- how these players get played and get “traded” like slaves on plantations… maybe I’m crazy.. Mic check 1-2-3. If anyone’s bringing the heat to this city, it’s ME.
- This week was tough. First my fiancé apparently had cancer cells in his blood and now he never did to begin with. FUCK incompetent physicians across the board- every. single.one.
- Also shoutout to my aunt for her white magic witchcraft skills. Thanks for getting naked in your backyard and running around with feathers in your hands. You the real MVP no matter what your neighbors say.
- Kardashians are popping babies left and right and we don’t even know who’s popping them out anymore they’re just popping out like human popcorn and it’s all part of their business plan to rule the fucking universe with the Kardashian legacy of incompetent whoreacy and overdone body parts. They’re setting the tone for an evolutionary change along their blood line where ultimately, Kardashian offspring will be born with plumped lips, zero ribs, and ginormous asses along with a pre-set Kanye state of mind. So help their innocent souls.
- I still don’t have a wedding dress
- NASA sent a car into space with a space-man dummy in the drivers seat and some song on replay? With hopes that the aliens will stop all alien activities and stare in very confused awe when they see homeboy drive on bye. At least this is the type of news my aunt gives me when we talk on the phone. I haven’t confirmed these fuckeries because I trust her to the core. But I mean?
- It is illegal to be drunk in a bar in Alaska. It is illegal to sell children in Florida. Confetti and stink bombs are illegal in Alabama. It is illegal to eat fried chicken with utensils in Georgia.
- I repeat… I do not have a wedding dress for my destination wedding that is 4 months away
- A motherfucking wax figure was made of Kylie Jenner with a baby stroller. Repeat after me: FIRST. WORLD. PROBLEMS.
- There’s a penis theme park in china somewhere. See for yourself: Penis Park
- You’re welcome. Or… sorry?!! Whatever.
- I purchased a REAL camera! A real one! It’s so incredibly complicated I don’t know where the fuck to start but I’m so excited to use it! Do other real people use “cameras” anymore?!
Until next time….