Your first thought: Who is this "Stella" and I mean..how many of them are there? Hmm...'cause I know zero Stellas except that one chick from the movie with the badass braids and muscle for days! And I obviously know you thought this 'cause I'm psychic. And come to think of it I forgot to… Continue reading To Every Stella Out There Right Now.
Dearest Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns: A few days ago, I was having one of those, "one of them days" type of days which I incessantly rant about here. I honestly felt like doing nothing other than drowning in a tub full of my own tears and liquid-drama. I couldn't even get myself to write anything since… Continue reading The Versatile Blogger Award
You know that one time when I was all like "Fuck you Universe and your lemons because I'm a boss and if I want apples then you best buh-lieve I'm getting some juicy apples bitch"? Who even ARE you Elizabeth?! Well let me tell you what's been happening. You see, I've been desperately trying to… Continue reading In Which I Rant SO Incessantly That I’m Not EVEN SURE How to Title, Categorize, or Tag The Rant.
Where's my fucking coffee?!
It's 2 in the morning here in Miami (is good morning fitting)? And because I'm up designing a cake consisting of hand-making dozens of fondant succulents from Hell, I made an educated decision to ingest a caffeine stimulant a couple of hours ago. Except my mind faltered (surprrriissseee!) and I also made myself not one,… Continue reading Brainplosion.
I just finished reading the most eloquently written blog post on Facebook. A friend shared it from mom.me and I was enticed only because some other friends complimented it/shared it again and I suddenly felt challenged. And I admit- it was beautifully delivered. It's everything an English professor could ever dream of. But that doesn't… Continue reading In Response to A Mommy Blog
I don't know what it is about me. But there are these days much like today, when I just know I'm an absolute hot mess and my day has already gone to shit right from the second I blink my brown eyes. Never mind the fact that I was running late (again) because lately, my… Continue reading Go Home Friday. You’re Drunk.
Let me begin this shenanigan post off by justifying my credibility in this category. You see, when it comes to my priorities: my kids, my levels of caffeine toxicity, and my career are all sitting on a pedestal so high up there, not even Jesus can fuck with it. And just don't. Let me stop… Continue reading HR UNCUT: The Harsh Truths About Your Resumes That You NEED TO KNOW
Disclaimer: When it comes to politics I rely on tabloids, whatever google says, and whatever everyone on Facebook says. Did you think that would stop me inserting my 2 cents plus an extra cent just for the sake of living up to my "extra-ness"? Come on! we all know opinions are like assholes. Everybody has… Continue reading In Response To ‘Merica, The Cunt
Well happy weekend humans! It's been a fairly decent, rollercoaster-of-moodswings (as usual) kind of day. And while the incessant shit-show that construes my mind was not meant to be the focal point of this post, I thought you know what? Let's do something different. So in lieu of a 2,500 word post- whose purpose may… Continue reading Weekend Forecast: 98% Chance of Mental Shit-Storms