Letters, Parenting Rants

Ya’ll Haram-Be Trippin’

I am going to go APE-SHIT crazy! I’m sick of logging into Facebook and reading all of these ridiculous opinions about the fucking gorilla and the child in my newsfeed. Who ARE you people? The response to this tragic incident from imperfect people, including far-from-perfect mothers across the globe has literally nauseated me.

Sans the bullshit- let us begin with the mother. NO ONE has the right to torment this poor woman. I cannot even fathom what this mom was feeling and thinking in what were the longest 10 minutes of her life! She obviously, did not “allow” her baby to just crawl through those bushes. Clearly, this 4 year old knew what he wanted and he was going to make that shit happen (#goals)- way to go kid…except…maybe next time…apply all of that determination towards Kindergarten and NOT “mommy I want to swim with the gorilla”. I mean, I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson and I’m SO happy that you’re safe and sound. But my point is, not gorillas kid…no more gorillas. Now, for the hypocritical psychopaths forgetting that this mom must already feel like the worst mother alive as it is, without any input needed, do not forget that motherhood is no walk in the zoo. We can literally blink and the next thing we know we are scrambling through Disney World in frantic search of a child who suddenly became distracted by who the fuck knows what. True Story. Don’t be so fake.

We aren’t perfect. Kids don’t come with fucking instruction manuals, guarantees, or receipts. They’re unpredictable, stubborn, dangerously curious creatures who don’t know shit about the dangers of life. And while it’s our blessed job to ensure the health and safety of our children, everyday is a brand new challenge and every single damn day, we are learning from our mistakes. So please, sit the fuck down with all of your PTA-mom melodrama. Who knows…maybe your kid has a liking for the gators. Or the lions. Thinking about it like that, I’m down with the gorillas. Just sayin.

Now, for those who are all like “she was way too calm, I would have jumped in there after my child immediately!” Really? Would you? Or, would you MAYBE, not create any further stress for the child nor the animal in that situation which could potentially cause this gigantic wild animal to feel threatened and maybe just maybe…provoke him to behave aggressively and attack, killing you BOTH?  Again, sit the fuck down.

1- Harambe was probably confused, and curious and if anything, I agree that EVERYTHING about his body language was 100 percent protective. The fact that he dragged the child? Yes. The child WAS indeed hurt. However, there was no violent behavior nor aggressive response to the child. Luckily, the kid wasn’t screaming his head off in fear which probably saved him. Imagine the screaming….the gorilla would have probably been afraid and felt the need to be defensive. Good move kid. Good call.

2- WHY THE FUCK did they NOT just tranquilize the animal? Was this the best option? People are outraged by this and in response to their own anger, go back to blaming the mother. NO ASSHOLES…the mother didn’t shoot the gorilla. That was NOT her decision nor her call. That was a wrong judgement call (or not)  by the zookeepers. Point blank. They did whatever was necessary to ensure the safety of this child, but still- could killing Harambe have been avoided? Probably. Who knows, I’m no zookeeper nor do I know a thing about tranquilizers or gorillas.

All in all, the child is safe and the gorilla is gone. Get over it. I prefer the child over the gorilla. I disagree with the decisions made, but whatever the case may be- you better do whatever the fuck it takes to save my kid.

And are we REALLY this emotional about the gorilla? Or are we so angry about Trump that we are using this as a punching bag? Come on people. We have bigger fish to fry. God bless ‘Merica.

4 thoughts on “Ya’ll Haram-Be Trippin’”

  1. EFFING THANK YOU. I’m so fucking sick of seeing and reading everyone’s fucking opinions on this. Enough. I read somewhere that tranquilizing him would have taken too long. As in, the tranquilizer would have taken too long to kick in. I dunno. Also, great analogy about FB being second nature to “open” and look at. I mean, I’ll be sitting on the couch, watching TV and I’ll probably open my Facebook app at least 20 times in a half hour show. Does that mean I have problems????


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