My balls have shriveled up when it comes to my writing. The fact that I haven’t written a single word in I don’t even know HOW long is not only embarrassing, it is physically debilitating. It’s like someone shanked me in the gut with a thick shard of glass and dug their way through my soul with it.
Alright maybe that’s pushing the drama over the edge of the cliff but still- whenever I go into these “writer’s block” modes for this long, I usually shut down a blog and give up on writing for another 6 months. But I refuse to succumb to my own bullshit. NOT this time. You see, I made a decision when I hit 30- and it was to give my life 350 percent of everything I have inside of me in order to make my fuckin dreams happen. There’s no giving up at 30 ladies and gents. Shit just got real.
My goal right this moment however, is to re-evaluate this blog, like…why did I even start this again? Aside from the fact that I am forever a hot mess of a baker/mother/wife/employee and I can’t afford proper fucking therapy so I literally just shield myself with humor…also so that I can someday, be one of those fabulous mom bloggers with a twisted attitude with thousands of twisted followers to inspire. And ultimately, to be deemed a hysterical, but educated author with a book on Amazon. Or better yet, sitting fiercely on the shelves at B&N. Go on with your bad ass self Ely.
With all that said, it’s only fair I admit to myself that I’m currently NOWHERE near even on the right path towards any of that. Assuming responsibility for my potential failures- I’m never going to get anywhere at this sad rate. And I also realize, that when I stop writing, it’s usually because I feel like I need a formal “topic” to base my writing on or because, I bumped into a badass blogger who I admire and then become intimidated to write. THERE IS NO GIVING UP AT 30. THERE IS NO FEAR AT 30. THERE IS ONLY FABULOUSNESS. Get your shit together Ely. The time is now. And you will NOT close this hot mess of a blog. It’s perfect and it will take you to the moon and back. You’ll see.
You’re inner badass fabulous bitch.