First of all, the fact that it’s a rainy 6 am Monday morning in Miami and I’m in a long ass line at a Starbucks drive thru with no makeup on and felt the urge to RANT about my blog and my questionable ways is all very disturbing to me. Wait wait wait, let me take it back to the part where I just gave a shit about not wearing any makeup on a Monday morning. At 6 am. THAT is a whoooollleee new level of “disturbing” which deserves its very own post.
But here I am…and I’ve lost sleep over this blog as pathetic as that may sound and I’m not quite clear on why, considering the fact that 1: I’m not planning on making a living out of this, it’s all for shits and giggles. 2: I literally have 1 comment (from my Mom) and 2 followers (thank you for the click of a button that made me jump for joy inside, where no one could ever see or know). Maybe….just maybe it’s the pressure of wanting to “fit in” to the blogging world so badly that I hesitate and constantly question myself, my purpose, my motives, my topics, my language, my grammar, my intelligence. But you know what, I woke up on this rainy Monday morning and as I waited for my venti triple 3-equal caramel macchiato I thought to myself “fuck it, I’m just gon’ do ME and the rest shall follow.”
If I continue stressing like this, I’m going to require blog therapy and I cannot forget that I started this blog as a form of therapy! I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m more like a cup of black, boiling hot coffee with a shot of vodka paired with it. Not everyone can handle that kind of intensity. But fuck I wish they could!
So just to get it out of my system this is how it is with Diaries of a Defective Mom:
-You already read the title, so right off the back you know I’m a mom. I’m defective. And I’m a smart ass. Because clearly, this is everything BUT a diary. BAM.
-I literally write how I speak. Which is very “Miami” and very “hispanic” and super sassy. And Yes I use the word “fuck” in every other sentence. I’m inappropriate and awesome and it’s exhausting having to justify my use of foul language. I do not CARE if it’s a blogging 101 no-no. I do not care if it scares off potential readers or followers or if it means I get less likes or comments or attention. I refuse to sacrifice my blunt personality for the sake of pleasing people who are no better than me. It’s who the fuck I am. You’ll learn to love me. Or not.
-I’m a shameless blogger. I LOVE telling people about my life-the good, the bad, the ugly. I’ve been through a lot. I have a super open mind. I have a lot to say about everything based on my own experiences and I am what you can call normal which no one likes talking about anymore. I’m not a rich stay at home mom with a picket fence, expensive shit, and a beautiful clean cut blog to show it all off. No. I want women to know and understand that it’s OK to struggle, to hustle, to not be able to catch up on laundry, to not be perfect all the time. I DO talk about personal stuff more often than what is deemed acceptable. Again, if it doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother you.
-I have NO time for: editing, revising, fancy photography, tutorials, you catch my drift. I’m at this moment using my android to type this on the WordPress app. Easy peezy lemon squeezy! I am constantly on the run and constantly working and I have more on my plate than I can handle. So you get what you get.
Thank you for listening!! I feel a little better now. Phew.