I buy all of the things. The little things. The big things. The pricey things. The cheap things. The glittery things. The pink things. The inspirational-quote things. The sometimes useless things. The this-one-thing-will-transform-my-bad-day-into-a-good-day things. The this-thing-will-help-me-organize-my-disaster-of-a-life things. The I-work-hard-and-I-deserve-this things. The oh-just-one-more-wouldn't-hurt things. The I'll-need-this-someday-soon things. Out of shame of raised eyebrows and "oh well,… Continue reading Things.
Have you ever felt...trapped? Trapped by yourself, trapped by others, trapped by your circumstances, trapped by your fears and your inhibitions, trapped by nothing that you didn't create for yourself to begin with? I feel fucking trapped. And I can finally at least say it or write it "out loud" without giving a damn about… Continue reading The Little Worker Bee That Could
I'm alive. I'm not quitting my blog. Ok that's all the explanation I'll be gifting everyone about my absence. And now, without further ado ladies and gents.... a throwback of last months' seemingly endless fuckeries. Last month, there was a portion of my so-called life that lasted about 2 weeks or so that can be… Continue reading Carousel of Fuckeries
I have words to say. But I don't know where they've gone. or why they refuse to come out and play. Perhaps they've managed to flee my mind- Crossed the borders of my brain and sought asylum on a warm, sane island. Or Perhaps they're just in hiding. Or Perhaps they have united in protest… Continue reading Words
Let's not even beat around the bush here. I've got a rant. And I'm all giddy and flusterfucked about it....yet at the same time, not really. An odd concoction of emotions, right?! But also? There needs to be some tangy, fruity alcoholic drink named The Giddy Flusterfuck or just, The Ely. That'll get you drunk… Continue reading Left Boob Bitchings: The Sequel
These past few weeks. Man. Guys. Ladies? Children of all ages? (Here the fuck we go...let the circus of words begin!) I Just have to tell you. But first I just have to tell you that this isn't a rap song or a poem. I'm just pacing myself here so that I can somehow try… Continue reading Hello Emotional Instability?… It’s Me… Ely. I Miss You.
Hiiiii!!!! If you're wondering if I'm THIS obnoxious in person, the answer is YES, yes I am. And if you're wondering if this post is going to be a rant about that documentary "What the Health?" the answer is no, no it's not. But since I'm already in so deep anyways, let me just say… Continue reading What The Health Is Goin’ On Here?!
This past weekend was a surprisingly relaxed and down-to-Earth, backyard-BBQ-with-the-fam, rollerblade around the block with the kids, and just chill type of weekend. No cake orders. No devices, overly needy children nor alarms to wake me up in the mornings. No impossible house chores to tackle. Seriously. It was just- a stand-up, exemplary, suit-wearing, chivalrous… Continue reading Bleach Happens
Dear Starbucks; Sigh. Hey sexy. It's me. I know I know! You've been worried about me. Another year vanished into non-existence and a new year has graced us and yet, you haven't seen or heard from me in a good 2, going on 3 weeks now? Geez. Did you wonder if I was dead by… Continue reading The Break-Up Letter of the Century
Dear Santa; Sigh. Level with me jolly old man. Pull up a chair. Get comfy. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Treat yo-self. Here...have a freshly purchased Walmart cookie with all the merry green and joyful red sprinkles and a hot cup of microwaved instant hot chocolate with extra tiny little marshmallows (I… Continue reading A Not-So-Merry Message For The Fat King of The North